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Post #543991

Author
althor1138
Parent topic
Star Wars coming to Blu Ray (UPDATE: August 30 2011, No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/543991/action/topic#543991
Date created
6-Oct-2011, 12:06 PM

The blu-ray release is only a part of his master plan to destroy all that is good.

Lucas has thousand of copies of the original 35mm prints at his house. He watches them every night and thinks about how awesome they are and how he is the only one that will ever get to see them again. He'll demand to be buried with all of them and at that time recall even the SE's and forbid it to be sold on any format for the rest of time.

Then, in true machiavellian form, he will return years later and claim that the movies had never even been made.  He will then proclaim that he is making them for the first time as he originally intended.  He will claim that it will be 9 movies but he will only make 6.  The first 3 will be the adventures of the gungan warrior jar-jar and the last 3 will be totally incoherent at best and people will wander from theatres moaning in agony after viewing them.

The "true fans" will rejoice and proclaim them masterpieces and go around telling everybody how they bought the 400 dollar boxset. When anyone questions them about the myth of the original trilogy from the late 20th century they will deny that they existed and claim that the new ones are all that matter because they are 100% cgi and capable of capturing the attention of 2 and possibly even 3 years olds.

I am not a time traveller but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.

EDIT: This is to only be read in the voice of the cybernetic ghost of christmas past from the future. You are welcome.