I like everything I'm seeing here.

An idea that I want to see in an Episode I edit is (as you put it) that Anakin does everything purposefully-- so the space battle gains character and weight.

I think the biggest beat in that, to me, would be an indication that Anakin feels it when Qui Gon dies.

Through some clever voice overs and edits, you could introduce a mind-link between Qui-Gon and Anakin. Some of Anakin's lines could be in response to Qui-Gon instead of R2 (e.g. "I know what I'm doing" or whatever).

Then, when Qui Gon dies, Anakin goes kamikaze into the ship, spins around, blasts torpedoes at the ship's core, then sits there unable to fly away for a beat... then gets out looking somber and (if possible, through music and editing) changed/burdened/grieved.