Doctor M said:

No matter what angle I looked at this movie, I hated it.
It failed to work on any level, but the action scenes were cool.

Try taking your idea down a few notches. I think you're expecting to be able do too much with too little.
Try just cutting the asylum bits and maybe the death scenes and then seeing if you can make it make sense from there. IMHO cutting in bits from other films NEVER works in a fan edit.

If you really want to fix this movie, build a time machine, go back in time, smack Zach Snyder in the face, and tell him to do another draft.

lol. well said sir! i was disgusted by the movie. for me it meant the demise of a director i thought had infinite potential.

After "watchmen" i had decided zack snyder was going to have a bright future and was highly anticipating "suckerpunch" you should have seen the look of horror written across my face as i sit watching suckerpunch with an ever hopeful level of trust for snyder. Only to have it finally spit in my face as all my expectations were shot down in a blaze of lameness the likes of which we have never seen,

This being snyder's maiden voyage into screenwriting it does not look good folks! lets all prey that hollywood never allows snyder near a script again.

Op as for your idea no offense but i say dont put any effort into suckerpunch because the film will only live on as a vast letdown of epic proportions.

If anything just edit out everything but the action scenes and turn those into a short mockery comedy with voice overs that sound like the ladys from "the view" it could make a funny 20 minute comedy skit.