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Post #533313

Author
Mrebo
Parent topic
The Crawl
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/533313/action/topic#533313
Date created
7-Sep-2011, 8:31 PM

I don't like raining on parades but, for the record, I agree with xhonzi. It's taken me awhile to realize how good it feels to ignore the PT. I've changed Luke & Leia's mother's name and it makes life better! I have a joke mocking pod racing but I don't know if that pulls one out of the new story. Certain PT elements seem necessary - a military creation act for example. I'm toying with a plot to assassinate Senator Organa  because he is an obstacle to the creation of the galactic military (Obi Wan has pursued the assassin halfway across the galaxy leading him to Tatooine). I certainly don't want to ignore any good ideas out of PT spite. My crawl might address the crucial state of affairs and then shift to a young navigator returning to Tatooine where there is little thought of the Republic or armies.

We pan down where we find Anakin piloting the spice freighter. He is alarmed by a frenetic dogfight between two ships with one issuing a distress call. The distressed ship's engines are sparking and it is about to be destroyed. Anakin leaps to action firing upon the aggressor's ship, engaging it in battle pushing the freighter to its limit. Anakin finally prevails. Unfortunately, the victim's ship was too badly damaged and careens toward the surface before Anakin can do anything about it. By this time the freighter's captain has rushed to the cockpit and excoriated Anakin for his recklessness and damage to his ship, telling him he no longer has a job.

Maybe then we'd cut to the Senate.

Following that we will cut to Obi Wan staggering from the wreckage of his ship at night under a full moon...