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Let's get some amateur hour going in this thread!
I'll star, I mean start. (people walk out).
Hello OT.com! (waits for audience applause, not a sausage).
I am actually from OT.com. (woo!).
Yep. Grew up here with nobody but my Moth3r to take care of me... keep me safe from all the shit that was available on the streets. Some of that shit was laced, man! All the other kids were doing it... (boo!)
Why do comedians always do jokes about airports, hotel rooms and jacking off? I sensed a pattern here and realised that I had a calling.
Okay... I'm gonna take a break for a few minutes and do the least expensive thing on that list. (Jim Gaffigan pops up to do 'lady in the audience' voice or whatever and gets punched in the face).
Thankyou, you've been a horrible audience!
(bottles, tomatoes).