I don't know how I leapt to the conclusion that this guy has creepy sex on his mind no matter what the subject matter.I don't know how I leapt to the conclusion that this guy has creepy sex on his mind no matter what the subject matter.
What a blatant, embarassing inability to comprehend irony.
No, I can't exclude that he was horny for some reason while writing all those critiques, but there is no reason to conclude that based on a few SARDONIC REMARKS.
If I wrote that, I could also find myself rolling my eyes at the bland, uninteresting romance in those movies, maybe just a bit, and then type in some remark along those lines just to be sardonic and nasty, while swinging a few jabs at the rating system, marketing, target audience etc.
Now ESPECIALLY in that last one about alien anatomy, the humor should've come through.
But to a mind compelled to read everything completely straight and literally, yea, Ebert was turned on by the wicked tentacles inside of Aliens' chest, and was dreaming about some slimy, violent Alien & Predator porn.
How else could it be? How far-fetched it must be to assume something like this, based on a paragraph like this! I mean, it's right there, clear as crystal! He said "sex", what more do you want??
*HUGE eyeroll*
I'm done here.