Ok but if this could be done keeping the characters looking like Obi Wan and Qui Gon as per the original, but telling the story in this way and redubbing Qui Gon to be called Anakin then it would make a huge continuity error between episodes 1 and 2 but besides that I think it would allow for the story to improve so much that the benefits might outweigh that one error.
Glad you like the story though.