While she was "flying" down the road at over 10 miles per hour over the speed limit, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "what's your hurry?"

She replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah? What do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher."

"A what?!?!"

"A rectum stretcher."

"And just what does a rectum stretcher do"

"Well," she said. "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work from side to side until I can get both hands in. Then, slowly but surely, I stretch it until it's about six feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a six-foot asshole?" the cop asked.

She replied, "I give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge."

Traffic ticket = $95.00
Court costs = $45.00
Look on cop's face = priceless