A paragon, a PARAGON, you say?
I thought we were talking about the difference between opinions and facts, not talking about how people might misuse those terms in everyday language. You're not doing a "nerdy, technical term deconstruction thing of the word 'opinion,'" you're confusing the definitions.
The issue is that you treat our opinions as facts that can be debunked. Thus you are rude and make nonsensical arguments.
When people try to explain opinion vs fact, you devolve into a discussion about everyday meanings of dropping pencils. And the "intellectual masturbation" is important in establishing a basic concept. There will often be many variables involved in a situation which you cannot assume do not exist or may not think of. In everyday conversation, people will claim all kinds of things are facts. But how about that one man or that one pencil that didn't hit the ground? Not because they were caught by a dove, but by some reasonable but unforeseen circumstance.