I'm impressed with the changes. Especially with your take on the Mace vs. Palpatine duel, as you're the first to have succesfully removed the other Jedi from that scene. I believe more can be achieved though. Losing "UNLIMITED POWER!!!" might be for the best, perhaps adding something more in line with Palpatine taunting Luke as he fries him.

"Use my knowledge" is a small but significant change. I believe Palpatine's voice could ring inside Anakin for a little longer. For instance the scene where Anakin kills the younglings kids in the temple could be augmented by adding "Do not hesitate, and show no mercy" as Anakin ignites his lightsaber.