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Post #506266

Author
xhonzi
Parent topic
mPT - Episode 1 Draft
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/506266/action/topic#506266
Date created
14-Jun-2011, 2:25 PM

Thanks for the encouragement.  Here's another chunk.  It's from my latest version, so there may be a few discrepancies with the above since I rewrote some of it since I posted.

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"I'm Anakin Skywalker.  I'm here to rescue you."  Captain Kenobi orders his men up the ramp, providing retreating cover fire as they go.  The shuttle lurches into the air as Kenobi, the last man, boards.  He hurries past his men who are strapping in.  One of the soldiers is strapping into a side turret seat.  Kenobi steps into the cockpit to talk to pilot Anakin, asking to be taken to his command ship.  Anakin radios in to his own command ship and asks permission to do so.  He is told that Kenobi's ship has already jumped to hyperspace and that he's cleared to bring the soldiers back to his own ship.  Anakin's ship is sending a few fighters to cover the shuttle's break for orbit.  Anakin radios back that he can't wait- it's too hot where they are, but they can meet him en route.  [The men Anakin was to pick up?  Didn't make it.  Kenobi's lucky that he spotted his squad on the ground when he was about to return to his cap ship.]
"You may want to buckle up, Captain" Anakin says to Kenobi, "This won't be the smoothest rescue of your career".  Kenobi stares down at Anakin, coming to a conclusion- "You're not planning to break strait for orbit?  Those flak canons will tear us apart!"   "Well, we don't have time for much else." replies Anakin.  Kenobi looks a little nervous.  Anakin grins, "Don't worry, Captain.  I know a thing or two about making a hot exit."  Kenobi senses something in Anakin which leads him to trust the young pilot.  He hastily drops into the co-pilot seat.  Anakin punches some controls on the dashboard and then pulls the ship into a steep climb.  Kenobi grips his seat.  Anakin tries to reassure him, "Don't worry Captain, I didn't drop down out of the sky like your guardian angel just to get us both killed on the way home."  Flak explodes on each side of the shuttle, but Anakin skillfully pilots an erratic course, preternaturally avoiding the blasts.  Anakin's radio squawks- "Fighter escort on their way.  Hurry home, Lt. Skywalker, we can't wait forever."  "Don't worry, we'll be there soon." Anakin says confidently  "I know you will." returns the voice. 
Anakin sees the fighter escort coming their way- "There's our escort!" he points.  Kenobi looks, but a frown crosses his brow.  "Negative, Lieutenant.  Those aren't friendly."  A few shots from the oncoming fighters cross the bow of the shuttle.  "Yeah, I'm beginning to think you're right." says Anakin.  "Hope you're buckled in tight" and he pulls the shuttle hard to the side, turning around.  The fighters pursue.  "You're heading back towards the canons?"  "Only chance we've got, Captain.  Redirect power to the rear shields.  How good is your man in the turret?" asks Anakin as he casts his glance down at his scope.  "He's experienced." says Kenobi confidently  "Good, what's his name?"  "Lieutenant Telcheck" responds Kenobi.  Anakin keys his communicator, "Telcheck, I'm bringing the broad side of that first fighter in your scopes in 3.. 2.." and he jerks the shuttle to one side, and then back.  Sure enough, the closest pursuing fighter falls for the feint and reveals its undershielded broad side to the turret.  Telcheck pounds it with the turret and it explodes.  That explosion is quickly followed by the boom of an exploding canon shell nearby.  Telcheck fires on the next pursuer, but the foreward shield absorbs all of his hits.  "I can't break his shields; get me a new vector!" yells Telcheck.  Anakin veers the shuttle, but the pursuing fighter is too quick and doesn't leave Telcheck an opening.  Can't fool them twice the same way. 
The exploding flak is starting to get more dense and Anakin is constantly moving in anything but a straight line.  But then he starts flying in exactly a straight line.  Kenobi is concerned and looks over at Anakin.  They'll be canon fodder for sure!  Anakin is bearing down on the throttle, causing the shuttle to barely outrun the flak blasts.  The pursuing fighter is hot on their tail.  The blasts are getting closer and closer to the shuttle and Kenobi blurts out "Are you trying to get us killed?!?" "Wait" says Anakin.  And then he cuts the throttle and the enemy fighter shoots past.  Anakin opens up with the forward guns.  But before the shuttle guns can do much damage, a flak shell hits the fighter square on and it erupts into a fireball. 
[similarly dispenses another fighter]. 
All looks to be well, except that as they're reaching lower orbit, they attract the attention of an enemy corvette.  "Uh-oh" says Anakin under his breath.  "Telcheck, see what you can do about our tail!"  Telcheck begins firing on the corvette with what's left of the smoking turret.  The corvette fires one or two powerful shots at the shuttle, hitting the turret and destroying it.  Telcheck's seat is slammed backwards and the blast door slams shut on the side turret bubble.  "Blast" yells Telcheck. 
"We've lost the turret.  Your man is alright." Anakin tells Kenobi.  "Can we outrun that corvette?" asks Kenobi.  "Not for long," replies Anakin, "our only hope is to outmaneuver it."    "And can we do that?" asks a concerned Kenobi?  The corvette lands a major hit which shakes the shuttle and the lights dim a little.  A wave of peace washes over Kenobi.  He reaches out to Anakin, "You did it, Lieutenant!"  Anakin doesn't know how to react to Kenobi's comment and gesture.  Then four friendly fighters buzz the shuttle and each deliver their payloads to corvette.  The first few blasts take down the shields, and the other two make short work of the rest.  Anakin's radio squawks: "Lieutenant Skywalker, you are clear to return to the Raptor.  Your welcoming committee is on deck.  We'll cover you from here."  "Roger" says Anakin into the comm, "Thanks for the save." 
Finally free from pursuit, the limping shuttle and its fighter escort make a direct course for capital ship "Raptor", which is still engaged in defensive fire at long off targets.
Anakin sets the shuttle down roughly, as gentle as he can with all of the damage it's sustained.  The cap ship continues its retreat, still firing- and then makes the jump to hyperspace.  Back in the hanger, still on the shuttle, Kenobi finally releases a death grip on the seat.  "Where did you learn to fly like that?"  Anakin looks over at him and smirks, "They don't teach flying like that."  He slaps Kenobi on the back and heads towards the exit ramp.  "It's a small wonder." says Obi-Wan. 
 
Anakin skips down the ramp and stops short when he sees what's waiting for him in the hanger.  A female crew chief is waiting at the bottom of the ramp- her arms crossed and a stern look on her face.  "Look at what you've done to my ship!" she playfully yells at Anakin.  "You said you were going to bring this one back in one piece!"  "Hey darlin', you should consider yourself lucky I brought it back at all."  "Is that right?"  "Yeah, I heard that The Pavilion has a crew chief that work wonders with hydro spanners in ways you wouldn't believe.  I bet she could take really good care of my baby here." says Anakin.  "If you think another crew chief can take better care of you than me, well... you're a bigger dreamer than I thought." 
A door opens onto the hanger and one of the ship's officers steps onto the hanger floor and walks toward Kenobi.  "Captain Kenobi.  And company.  Welcome to the Raptor.  Glad you could join us.  I'm Commander Brandt."  "Thanks for the warm welcome, Commander.  But if it's all the same to you, we'd like to return to our own ship as soon as possible."  "I'd like to comply with your request, Captain.  But you've been permanently transferred to the service of the Raptor.  Your ship has its orders, and we have ours.  No time to worry about which ship whose people are on."  Kenobi tries to contain his surprise.  "It's the new way of the Republic, Captain.  There's no more your ship, or my ship.  We're a single army now, working with a single fleet.  You'll have a bunk on the Raptor until the next time you get separated from your ship." 
Kenobi realizes he's been rude.  "Speaking of which, thanks for the rescue."   Kenobi gestures back to the shuttle they came in on- it's smoking and about to fall apart.  "That's some pilot you've got there."  The commander smiles, "Lieutenant Skywalker is a transplant to the Raptor himself, similar to yourselves.  He was the only surviving member of a fighter squadron we flew with from [from another planet].  He's the best damn fighter pilot I've ever seen.  It seems a shame to have him flying shuttles... but I don't suppose you'll complain."  The commander's comm beeps, and he looks at it.  "I'm needed back on the bridge."  He beckons to a soldier from his own company.  "Corporal, show these men to the barracks.  Captain Kenobi, please follow me.  I'll brief you on our orders."