Andy? Well written post otherwise.
adywan, my heart goes out to you and your family, especially your daughter. My wife and I had a stillborn baby several years ago and it has taken us a very long time to recover...actually I should say we will always be recovering, but as vbangle said, time does help. And our two subsequent daughters have really helped as well.
Feel free to PM me if you have any desire to converse with someone who has an idea of what you and your daughter are going through.