Ooh, you're hard aren't you? Where's your handbag?
So how, pray tell, am I being a dick? Or indeed a troll. C'mon, smart arse, thrill me with your acumen.
Oh, and the reason I came back was someone sent me a PM. A very nice PM actually. I thought I'd come back on to the forum and see what was happening - everything had been going fine until you opened your mouth.