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Post #499489

Author
greenpenguino
Parent topic
STAR WARS: Episode One. Also known as Greenpenguino's best Star wars script, EVA!!!!
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/499489/action/topic#499489
Date created
15-May-2011, 1:25 PM

EXTERIOR--PLANET NABOO

 

EXTERIOR-- CGI CASTLE ON THE PLANET NABOO

 

INTERIOR--EXTERIOR OF THE THRONE ROOM ON THE PLANET NABOO

 

INTERIOR--THRONE ROOM ON THE PLANET NABOO

 

Queen Armadillo is sitting in her chair, she is talking to people. There is a cartoon rabbit standing in the room too, trying really hard not to look fake.

 

Queen

Due to the lameness of our home planet’s name I have decided that the planet should be given a new name. Any suggestions??

 

Person 1

Erm... Utapau?

 

Queen

No! Crap!

 

Person 2

THX-1138?

 

Queen

What? No.

 

Person 3

Dirt?

 

Queen

No

 

Person 3

Ground?

 

Queen

No

 

Person 3

Earth?

 

Queen

No!! You shut up, all your planet names are shit!

 

Person 3 shuts up

 

Person 1

Err....Alderann?

 

Queen

Yeah, sure. Why not? I just hope the Naboobians of our planet will except it.

 

Person 3

Your Majesty, can I say something?

 

Queen

No! You stay quiet Mr Organa. It’s not like you’ll amount to anything.

 

 

EXTERIOR--HYPERSPACE

 

Anakin and Ric Olie are arm-wrestling whilst waiting for the dinosaur to drop out of Hyperspace. Obi-wan is still holding on to the tail of the dinosaur. Ric wins the arm wrestle, obviously

 

Ric

Well, that was a mildly interesting distraction

 

Anakin

You catch on pretty qui-

 

Ric olie punches Anakin in the face, causing burns to appear.

 

Anakin

(Face smoking)

Ow!

 

Ric

No one steals my lines!!

 

Anakin

Meh, I don’t care

 

Just then Luke skywalker appears. Fans note that the image they see of him is the wrong picture. But they dare not say it for fear of Ric’s Wrath.

 

Luke

I care

 

Luke promptly vanishes.

 

Obi-wan

Are we nearly there yet? My arms are getting tired!

 

Ric

Shut your Cake hole! I don’t know why I bring you along with me, all you do is bitch and moan. Much like your Mum did last night.

 

Anakin highfives Ric, causing his hand to burn off.

 

Anakin

Ow! Dammit!!

 

Ric

Don’t worry, we’ll get you a new hand. Made of metal!

 

Anakin

Cool!

 

Ric

And then Luke can chop it off later on

 

Anakin

Huh? What?

 

They come out of Hyperspace and fly towards the Planet ‘Ric Olie’.

 

 

Exterior--Landing platform on the planet Ric Olie. Ric lands the dinosaur and steps off it, he is immedietly greeted by 20 beautiful Amazon-like women.

 

Anakin

Jeepers!

 

Obi-wan

Meh...

 

They walk across a narrow bridge, without railings towards a city so marvelous I cannot express it in words. I’ll just leave a few Blank paragraphs

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There...

 

 

Ric Olie walks into a large room

 

Ric

This is boring. We need another action scene.

 

 

Out of nowhere a Giant Robot that uses Cows for batteries appears. It has laser cannons everywhere. A totally awesome fight ensues. Ric defeats the robot, with a tiny bit of help from Anakin. Obi-wan is still a pansy and hides behind something.

 

One of the beautiful Amazonian women

(To the camera)

Man, Obi-wan was a complete wimp before episode 4

 

Obi-wan

(Still hiding)

Only from a certain point of view!!!

 

Anakin

Pfft.. What kind of excuse is that? Only a complete moron would go with that!

 

Ric

I need a bounty hunter at once!!!

 

Boba Fett shows up, looking more awesome than ever.

 

Ric

Boba! Go and get some more women I haven’t slept with yet

 

Boba

As you wish...

 

Boba flies off in his Jetpack.

 

Ric

Look over there! There’s Boba fett, off to get me some women.

 

Anakin

Is this movie in any way even try to fit with the other films??

 

Ric

Maybe...