It’s an interesting idea – introducing the Jedi that way. Can’t remember any other TPM edit going about things that way. The obvious problem it seems to me: the Jedi are the main characters of the movie, so they should have a proper introduction, and ideally (if you follow the ‘rules’ of scriptwriting) they should be introduced pretty much at the very start of the movie. Although Lucas broke that rule with Luke in ANH, so clearly it’s not a rule you can’t break and get away with.
The main issue I imagine it would create is Jar Jar: without any of his introduction scenes, who is this cartoon rabbit following the Jedi around?
I also wonder, if you’re gonna run with this concept, whether you should change the opening crawl to take out all mentions of the Jedi coming to the Queen’s rescue – to really increase the tension, the sense of all being lost, until – BAM! – they jump down and go lightsabering and save the day.
And, totally off-topic, I browsed your Youtube channel and saw you like The Kinks’ “20th Century Man”. Muswell Hillbillies is one of favourite albums of all time, so that made me smile. =)