Well, here it is: the first episode of my PT rewrite. Well, technically, not quite; so far, I've only completed half of the script - I'm currently rewriting the second half, and I'm having trouble with it. But I'll put up what I have anyway. =D
I'll put up one post per day, for any possible feedback; constructive criticism and advice is always welcome.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Beginning takes place 40 BBY (or 40 BSW4, for those who don't go by the EU dating system).
TITLE CARD : A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away ...
A vast sea of stars serves as the main backdrop for the main title, followed by a roll up, which crawls up into infinity.
EPISODE I - THE BEGINNING
It is a time of uncertainty, a time of war. The Galactic Republic is pitched in battle with an incomprehensible enemy. Law and order stand at a breaking point. Chaos reigns.
The nefarious Federation Neimoidia, a confederacy of mercenaries, has taken advantage of the universal strife. Having invaded the peaceful world of Nabu, they seek to depose the Royal Family and replace their benevolent rule with a bloodthirsty new regime.
In a race against time the King and Queen of Nabu hope to send their children to a place of safety among their allies the Gungans, to secure the continued existence of their government along with their royal bloodline.
PAN DOWN
From a star-lit sky to the Palace of Theed, which is surrounded by well-cared-for trees and trimmed green grass. Fifteen Nabu soldiers are at the palace's front steps, firing their blasters at something before them. The soldiers are quickly cut down by return blaster fire.
A company of Neimoidian soldiers move forward, trampling the dead soldiers underfoot. Bringing a battering ram to bear, they begin to pound away at the heavy front doors.
INT. NABU - PALACE - THRONE ROOM - EVENING
The palace King and Queen tearfully bid farewell to their three children.
King Ruwee is in his mid fifties, with grey hair and blue eyes. Queen Jobal, slightly younger, has black hair with intense green eyes. The children share all the same features - dark hair with brown eyes. Sola is eighteen, Amidala is fourteen, and Oeta is five. With them are sixteen loyal bodyguards, lead by Captain Panaka.
SOLA : Mother, Father - you have to come with us. You don't have to stay here!
QUEEN JOBAL : We can't go with you.
KING RUWEE : It has to be this way. We don’t have any choice in the matter.
AMIDALA : We've all had flashes that have never come true before! Why stake so much on this one? What is any different this time?
KING RUWEE : Your mother knows.
SOLA : She knows!? How can she know?!
KING RUWEE : (annoyed) Because she knows! ...
QUEEN JOBAL : (to Ruwee) Dear, please ... (to Sola) I’m sorry, Sola. I have a feeling ... I just know this.
OETA : Why ... ?
QUEEN JOBAL : You’ll be safe with Boss Nass in Otoh Gunga. A courier has been dispatched to Coruscant with news of the invasion. You’ll be safe with the Gungans until the Senate can arrange a rescue.
SOLA : This isn’t right.
INT. NABU - PALACE - ENTRANCE HALL - EVENING
The great front doors to the palace are smashed in. A single armed guard is swiftly cut down as the Neimoidians surge into the great corridor.
INT. NABU - PALACE - THRONE ROOM - EVENING
QUEEN JOBAL : Remember that we love you, all of you. (to Panaka) Captain Panaka?
CAPT. PANAKA : Yes, Your Highness!
QUEEN JOBAL : Take them out back, quickly. Time is definitely not on our side.
CAPT. PANAKA : Yes, milady. (to the children) Come children - Princess Sola.
The bodyguards firmly grab hold of the children, dragging them away from their parents.
OETA : I love you Mom!
The bodyguards take the children to a door at the back of the throne room, and disappear through it.
KING RUWEE : (taking Jobal's hand in his) So this is it.
QUEEN RUWEE : I do love you.
The Neimoidians break into the throne room. The Royal Couple turn to face the soldiers as they approach them, weapons levelled at them.
NEIMOIDIAN SOLDIER : Your children - where are they?
QUEEN JOBAL : They're gone.
KING RUWEE : You'll never hurt them.
Before they can say another word the mercenaries open fire, quickly cutting them down.
DuracellEnergizer said:
I'll put up one post per day, for any possible feedback; constructive criticism and advice is always welcome.
You've already posted two times :p
Introductory/conversational posts don't count =D
EXT. NABU - PALACE - COURTYARD - EVENING
The children flee the palace through a back door with their bodyguards into a courtyard. On the grass sit two vehicles: a sleek, silver starcruiser - blackened by weapons' fire and inoperable - and a landspeeder.
The children and their bodyguards run toward the protection of the speeder, and begin to climb aboard in a hurry. Bodyguard Ric Olié settles in behind the controls.
A lone Neimoidian soldier comes from around the side of the palace, entering the courtyard. The mercenary spots the Nabu, and opens fire. Sola is hit in the back and goes down.
AMIDALA : Sola! No! Sola!
As Amidala struggles to lift her elder sister into the cockpit Panaka roughly pulls her in, and a pendant with a small aquamarine crystal snaps off Sola's neck, coming away in the Princess's hand.
CAPT. PANAKA : (to Ric Olié) Go. Let's go!
Several Neimoidians arrive to assist their comrades, opening fire as the speeder zooms off past the blasted ruin of the royal starcruiser into the safety of the swamp beyond the courtyard.
INT. NABU - PALACE - PALPATINE'S OFFICE - EVENING
Vizier Dantius Palpatine sits at his desk, asleep in his chair. Palpatine is a rather inconspicuous looking man, with bland features and dark hair, in his early sixties.
The office door is forced open, waking Palpatine as Neimoidian mercenaries swarm into the room.
PALPATINE : What? What is - ?
The lead Neimoidian seizes Palpatine's hair in a fist, toppling the chair over and dragging the vizier onto the floor. Palpatine begins to curse the soldier.
NEIMOIDIAN COMMANDER : (turning his blaster on him) Resist and I’ll put a shot in you. (cont’d) It would be preferable to keep you alive and intact for questioning, but it is not necessary.
Palpatine backs down, and the Neimoidian commander drags him from the room.
INT. NABU - PALACE - THRONE ROOM - EVENING
Two columns of Neimoidian soldiers occupy the throne room, standing on either side of the central thrones facing each other. Between the two columns crouch twelve of the palace servants, hands behind their heads, with eight armed mercenaries keeping their weapons trained on them.
Surveying the captives is the menacing Kaleesh Qymaen jai Sheelal, a Supreme Commander in the Federation army.
He looks up away from the captives as the Neimoidian leader dragging Dantius Palpatine enters the chamber from a side door.
COMMANDER SHEELAL : Ah, we shall soon be getting down to business.
The Neimoidian leader with his contingent of soldiers passes through one of the columns, pulling Palpatine down through the room to Sheelal. The Neimoidian pushes the vizier to his knees before the Supreme Commander.
COMMANDER SHEELAL : You are Dantius Palpatine - vizier to the Royal Couple and their children. You, of all on this miserable rock, should know where the brats were sent off to. (cont’d) Tell me where they can be found, and I may petiton for your release.
PALPATINE : Their Highnesses didn't put me in their confidence. I don't know where they went and can't begin to imagine where they could have gone. Regardless, I wouldn’t tell you a thing you scum!
COMMANDER SHEELAL : Very well ...
Sheelal smacks the vizier across the face, knocking him back and over.
COMMANDER SHEELAL : (to the Neimoidian commander) Send scouts out into the swamps. The children cannot have gone far. You can catch them if you move fast enough!
The commanding Neimoidian bows his head in acknowledgement, proceeding to broadcast Sheelal's orders to his fellow mercenaries waiting outside the palace.
Sheelal turns to face the throne room entrance as a Neimoidian soldier enters the chamber, a mobile holographic projector following along behind him.
NEIMOIDIAN SOLDIER : Incoming message, My Lord. His Honour Viceroy Nute Gunray wishes to hear a progress report.
COMMANDER SHEELAL : Patch it through.
A beam of light is projected from the small tripod, forming a blue 3D image of Neimoidian Viceroy Nute Gunray and his aide Rune Haako.
NUTE GUNRAY : How goes it, Supreme Commander? Have you terminated the members of the Royal Family?
COMMANDER SHEELAL : All members of House Naberrie are in the process of being tracked down and exterminated. The King and Queen along with their oldest daughter are among the confirmed dead.
NUTE GUNRAY : (surprised) The other two children aren’t with them?!
COMMANDER SHEELAL : Those brats escaped.
NUTE GUNRAY : You are to find those children and do away with them as soon as possible. One of the Royal Couple's couriers managed to escape the bombardment and make the leap to hyperspace. The heirs must be dead before agents of the Republic can be sent here to retrieve them. Am I clear on this matter?
COMMANDER SHEELAL : My men are on it as we speak, Lord.
NUTE GUNRAY : They had better be, Commander.
The image of Gunray reaches out and touches an off-screen control. The hologram disappears with a flash. Sheelal turns away from the projector, returning his attention to the captive servants on the floor.
EXT. NABU - SWAMP - DAY
The Royal Children and their bodyguards move through the swamp. They wind their way through the tall trees and the thick foliage, following a narrow path, taking as much care as possible to be silent and keep themselves from being seen.
OETA : Stupid speeder ... Couldn't get past the trees, could it. Had to get stuck, didn't it. (to Panaka) I'm tired of this. My legs are cramping up.
AMIDALA : Shhh, Etey. This is hard on all of us. It’ll be over soon, I promise.
CAPT. PANAKA : Don't worry, little Prince. Lake Paonga has underwater tunnels that'll take us to Otoh Gunga. We're almost there.
AMIDALA : A group of Gungans will be waiting to take us to the city. We won't have to find our way there on our own.
CAPT. PANAKA : (hearing a sound) Quiet! What's that? Listen.
Standing completely still, they notice the low, distant whine of approaching single trooper aerial platforms (STAPs). Moving fast Panaka searches the area around them and finds a small shallow pond half-hidden beneath the deep flora of the bog.
CAPT. PANAKA : (to his men) Grab the children and get over here! Take cover - quickly!
The bodyguards hurry over to the pond, dragging the Royal Children with them, and roughly push them into the stagnant water. Panaka and his men slowly lower themselves in after the children, keeping their heads and shoulders above the mire and hidden behind the foliage, moving their blasters into firing position.
A convoy of mercenaries slowly cruises by, moving along the path the Nabu were following. The Neimoidians survey the area, looking out for their quarry, but fail to spot them.
The soldiers soon move out of view, disappearing into the thick trees.
AMIDALA : Is it safe to come out now?
CAPT. PANAKA : I think so. We should be cautious though. They may come back.
The Royal Children and their bodyguards draw themselves out of the murky water, stepping onto dry ground and wringing the moisture from their clothes.
Panaka tentatively peers down the direction the Neimoidians took. He signals the others to come to him. They join the captain.
CAPT. PANAKA : We'll have to take an alternate route to the lake. We don't want to come up behind those soldiers.
A line of blaster fire suddenly flashes past, missing their heads by centimetres, and shatters the branch of a nearby tree - sending its leaves ablaze.
A sole Neimoidian soldier - a straggler - zooms down the path firing his guns.
CAPT. PANAKA : Kids, duck! (To his men) Open fire!
Ric Olié tackles Amidala and Oeta to the ground as the airborne Neimoidian speeds by them, and the bodyguards aim and fire at the mercenary. Their blaster fire strikes the Neimoidian before he can reorient himself and evade, killing the soldier and demolishing his floating platform.
CAPT. PANAKA : We gotta get moving. Let's go!
Olié takes Oeta into his arms. They take a detour off to the left of the path and run through the thick trees as the convoy of Federation soldiers backtrack to their position, opening fire.
A few soldiers try to follow them on their STAPs, but are unable to manoeuver past the thick trees and end up blowing themselves up against the massive trunks.
The Nabu try to stay together, attempting to huddle close to one another and run through the ingrown trunks at the same time. Amidala looks behind her to see the Neimoidians now following them on foot.
AMIDALA : Captain Panaka, they're following us!
CAPT. PANAKA : Just hold on, girl. We're almost there.
EXT. NABU - SHORELINE - DAY
The heirs and their protectors finally break through the final line of trees, setting foot on the vast shoreline of a gigantic lake.
Far to the distance at their right stands a contingent of Gungan warriors beside a partially submerged bongo submarine. The Gungan warriors are tall, lean frog-like creatures, armed with unusually shaped rifles.
The Nabu begin to run toward the Gungans. As they cross the shore the Neimoidian mercenaries emerge from the trees. The Neimoidians gain chase, firing after the humans.
LEAD GUNGAN : This way! Come! Hurry!
The Nabu make it to the Gungans and their bongo. The lead Gungan picks up Oeta and lowers him into the aquatic craft. Amidala
steps into the submarine after him, followed by the bodyguards.
Once the humans are inside the Gungans turn their weapons on the Neimoidian soldiers, cutting down three of them, before entering the bongo themselves.
INT. NABU - GUNGAN BONGO - COCKPIT - DAY
The lead Gungan starts up the bongo's controls, and begins to steer the craft out into deeper waters.
EXT. NABU - SHORELINE - DAY
The soldiers come on the bongo as it submerges, futilely firing into the blue water as the submarine drops down and disappears under the deep lake.
EXT. CORUSCANT - SPACE
A small bright streak of light flashes into existence, transforming into a Nabu courier ship. The craft flies on an unsteady course into Coruscant's orbit.
INT. SPACE - COURIER SHIP - COCKPIT
The courier, a short man in his mid twenties, struggles to stabilize his turbulent trajectory, fighting with the ship's controls. He pulls the goggles over his eyes up and off, wiping the sweat from his brow as he does so.
COURIER : No good ... no good ... This is not good.
EXT. CORUSCANT - SPACE
One of the courier ship's engines suddenly flashes bright, throwing the whole craft into a spin. The craft tumbles toward a giant orbiting mirror.
It strikes the reflective surface of the mirror, damaging the fragile material, and careens off, falling into Coruscant's atmosphere in an uncontrolled re-entry.
INT. SPACE - COURIER SHIP - COCKPIT
Klaxons begin to blare and warning lights begin to flash. The courier flips a number of switches and presses a couple buttons.
COURIER : Lateral controls are gone now!? Dammit it all to hell! Why is this happening to - !
EXT. CORUSCANT - CITYSCAPE - LATE DAY
Several Coruscanti civilians notice the courier ship as it descends from the sky trailing smoke, pointing with expressions of alarm on their faces.
INT. CORUSCANT - COURIER SHIP - COCKPIT - LATE DAY
COURIER : Please hold together, baby, please? You hear me, you piece of junk? Hold together! Hold together long enough for me to land you and safely get the hell out!
EXT. CORUSCANT - PLAZA - LATE DAY
The courier manages to stabilize the craft just enough to make a safe, but rough, landing on a plaza. A crowd gathers as fire & medical units arrive on the scene.
The ship's outer hatch opens, and the pilot staggers out. Medics rush to aid him. The courier collapses to the ground. The medics get to him and start to lift him into a stretcher.
MEDIC : Are you hurt? Did you sustain injuries on the way in? Sir, can you hear me?
PILOT : I - I have to speak to the Senate - the Chancellor! The Federation - the Neimoidians have taken over Nabu! I have to get help - !
MEDIC : It will all be taken care. For now let us help you. Let's get you looked at.
PILOT : You don't understand! The Royal Family sent me. We have to get back to them before it’s too late!
MEDIC : (to his colleagues) Let's get him out of here.
INT. CORUSCANT - CHANCELLOR'S OFFICE - SUNSET
The two highest ranking members of the Jedi Council - Yoda and Mace Windu - stand before Supreme Chancellor Finis Valorum’s desk, discussing the crisis on Nabu. The Jedi wear close-fitting black uniforms, complete with the dark cloaks that define Jedi Masters. Valorum is a middle-aged man - in his late fifties - with pale white hair.
The Chancellor puts his hand on top of his desk, trailing his fingers across its surface, before taking a seat behind it.
VALORUM : ... You now see why we need your help with this situation, Masters. In your capable hands we can surely succeed.
MACE WINDU : Understood. However, this will be a difficult undertaking, Chancellor. There can be no doubt about that.
VALORUM : None whatsoever, Master Windu. Which is why I'm asking for your top acolytes on this mission.
YODA : Our best?
VALORUM : Indeed. If it is not too much to ask ...
MACE WINDU : There’s an academy on Chommell Minor. It is the closest world to Nabu with a Jedi presence ...
YODA : (to Valorum) The fleet ... around Corellia it amasses, yes?
VALORUM : It does, Master.
YODA : Stationed there is Obi-Wan my old apprentice, assisting the rebuilding effort.
VALORUM : Obi-Wan Kenobi? He helped repel the Mandalorians from Alderaan, if I am not mistaken?
MACE WINDU : That is correct. (cont’d) Obi-Wan has proven himself in the past.
YODA : Indeed.
VALORUM : (cont’d) Then it’s decided. We will assign Obi-Wan Kenobi to this mission.
YODA : A good choice is he for the rescue mission - a perfect choice.
VALORUM : Your assistance is appreciated, Masters. I am sure the Nabuan heirs will thank you.
INT. SPACE - NUTE GUNRAY’S PERSONAL FLAGSHIP - CORRIDOR
Viceroy Nute Gunray slinks down the empty corridor, coming to a door. Looking down both ends of the hallway to make certain that no one is around, the Neimoidian opens the door.
He quickly enters the dim chamber beyond, and the door closes behind him.
INT. SPACE - NUTE GUNRAY’S PERSONAL FLAGSHIP - NUTE GUNRAY'S PERSONAL CHAMBERS
Gunray steps into a darkened room. In the centre sits a large holographic display.
At his approach the display surges into life, displaying the image of a shadowy horned figure clad in black robes with red trim - the Zabrak Sith Lord Maul.
MAUL : Speak.
NUTE GUNRAY : We have secured hold of Nabu, My Liege. We had the city of Theed bombarded, as you requested, and stormed the palace. Our soldiers disposed of King and Queen Naberrie and the Princess Sola.
MAUL : And what of Oeta and Amidala?
NUTE GUNRAY : Ah, yes - yes! As you see, My Lord ...
MAUL : Out with it, you blithering worm.
NUTE GUNRAY : Yes, Lord. See, I - I mean we. We ... the soldiers -
MAUL : (angry) Now!
NUTE GUNRAY : They escaped us - twice.
MAUL : Twice ...
NUTE GUNRAY : At the palace, and in the swamps. The Gungans - this world's aboriginals - are helping them. We know that they live in aquatic cities. We're attempting to locate the nearest possible settlement relative to their last known position.
MAUL : You stupid fool - the Gungans are allied with the Nabu! You didn't stop to think that they would assist the Royal Family beforehand?!
NUTE GUNRAY : My Lord, we didn't think -
MAUL : Precisely! You don't think. You are as stupid as you are incompetent.
NUTE GUNRAY : Liege -
MAUL : Shut up. I will hear no more of your pitiful excuses.
NUTE GUNRAY : As you wish, My Lord. I serve only to please you.
MAUL : (cont’d) Once you have found the Gungan city have it destroyed. We will not be taking any chances with these children. I want them dead.
NUTE GUNRAY : Yes, Liege. As you command. (cont'd) I ...
MAUL : I sense you have something more to say?
NUTE GUNRAY : My Lord, the Republic will not stand for this. I fear we will be facing a retaliation from them sooner rather than later.
MAUL : You must tighten your hold on the planet. Have your ships form a solid blockade in orbit around Nabu. (cont’d) I assume the droid fleet is still on its way?
NUTE GUNRAY : They are still on their way, Lord.
MAUL : Once they arrive have them reinforce the blockade. Have an ambush prepared for any armada sent against you.
NUTE GUNRAY : My Lord ... it is a risky move siphoning off ships for this invasion. The Directorate has not sanctioned this endeavour. Should they find out about my involvement ...
MAUL : Viceroy, if you fail me there will be more to worry about than persecution from either the Republic or your fellow Neimoidians. I promise you this.
NUTE GUNRAY : The blockade will be established according to your wishes.
MAUL : Serve me well, Viceroy. You will be soon rewarded.
The Viceroy bows before the Sith Lord's image, and the hologram passes it's hand over the Neimoidian's form. The hologram dissolves, and the display grows dark.
EXT. CORELLIA - SPACE
Several Republic Dreadnaughts and destroyers leave the surface of the brown-and-blue world of Corellia, flowing together into a massive armada.
A small shuttle moves with the larger cruisers off the planet on a course toward the titanic Dreadnaught flagship Sunsabre.
INT. SPACE - SHUTTLE - PASSENGER DECK
Two Jedi, a Knight and an apprentice, sit together in uncomfortable seats.
The older Jedi is Obi-Wan Kenobi. He is twenty years old, his brown hair cropped short except for the two braids which hang down from his temples. Qui-Gon is sixteen years old, with his long thick hair done up in a topknot.
Qui-Gon stares out the window to his side, an expression of uncertainty etched on his face.
QUI-GON : I have a bad feeling about this.
OBI-WAN : I don't sense anything.
QUI-GON : It's not about the mission, Obi-Wan. It's something ... elsewhere ... elusive.
OBI-WAN : Keep your concentration here and now where it belongs.
QUI-GON : Master Dooku said I should be mindful of the future ...
OBI-WAN : I’m certain Master Dooku would also tell you not to do so at the expense of the moment. (cont’d) Be mindful of the living Force and don’t focus on your anxiety.
EXT. SPACE - SUNSABRE - DOCKING BAY
The shuttle cruises slowly through the opening of the Sunsabre's dock.
INT. SPACE - SUNSABRE - DOCKING BAY
The shuttle touches down on the scuffed surface of the docking bay's floor, and the hatch pops open and lowers. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon exit the shuttle.
Two soldiers, Lieutenant Colonel Bail Organa and his major Raia Vaness, approach the Jedi, greeting them. Colonel Organa is a broad shouldered man in his late twenties, with a thick head of solid black hair. Major Vaness is a young olive-skinned woman not much older than Organa.
OBI-WAN : (embracing Organa) Bail Organa. It has been too long.
COL. ORGANA : You're on the team, you slick trickster? Good! Glad to have you aboard. (nodding to Vaness) this is Raia Vaness, my trusted major and future wife - if she agrees to it, that is.
MAJ. VANESS : (saluting Obi-Wan) It is a pleasure to meet you, Master Kenobi.
COL . ORGANA : (to Obi-Wan) Three years ... How’s life been to you? Have you gone through the trials yet, or are you still carrying Yoda about on your shoulders?
OBI-WAN : I did go through the trials ...
COL . ORGANA : And ...?
OBI-WAN : (cont’d) I passed. The Council granted me Knighthood four months ago.
COL . ORGANA : Congratulations! (cont’d) You should have informed me, though. We could have thrown a party.
OBI-WAN : (placing a hand on Qui-Gon's shoulder) Bail, this is Qui-Gon Jinn.
COL. ORGANA : (shaking Qui-Gon's hand) Pleased to meet you kid. (to Obi-Wan) So the teacher’s on vacation?
OBI-WAN : Hmm?
COL. ORGANA : Just wondering why an initiate’s tagging along with you on your missions. You’re obviously not his master.
QUI-GON : Master Dooku thought it best that I stay with Obi-Wan until he resumes active duty.
OBI-WAN : Master Jard Dooku was his instructor. He was badly injured fourteen months ago during a mission on Orbos IX.
COL. ORGANA : Well, he's in good hands. (cont'd) Come, lets show you the scrap pile we'll be riding down to Nabu on.
The two soldiers escort the Jedi to the shuttle Swift Strike. They pass through the open hatch, entering the craft.
INT. SWIFT STRIKE - COCKPIT
Organa and Vaness bring Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon into the shuttle's cockpit. Several officers take up the small space, checking & calibrating the onboard instruments.
COL. ORGANA : (to a technician) How goes it, Andross? The engine tape holding?
ANDROSS : Just checking the flux capacitor readings, Colonel.
COL. ORGANA : Good job. Wouldn't want to make .85 with that thing hanging loose.
ANDROSS : No sir!
COL. ORGANA : Keep it up. (to Obi-Wan) Sure is something, isn't she? The ship, I mean.
OBI-WAN : I wouldn't know, Bail. I'm not much for flying, much less taking the time to understand the quirks of typical starship capabilities.
COL. ORGANA : Well, the Strike's nothing special, to tell you the truth. Standard armour and shields. Limited offensive and defensive capabilities. Hyperdrive rates at the low end of the average spectrum. She’s definitely not much of a warship.
OBI-WAN : Pity.
COL. ORGANA : I tell you something, though. It really all comes down to the sublight engines. The Strike puts all other standard light freighters to shame in that regard. You aware of how fast it takes a blaster bolt to fly from Point A to Point B?
OBI-WAN : Well -
COL. ORGANA : The Strike can travel to Nabu faster than that. And boy, when it comes to dodging, this hunk of junk can really dodge!
OBI-WAN : Bail ...
COL. ORGANA : Yes?
OBI-WAN : Only you can make flowery praise more poisonous than outright criticism.
The Colonel and the Jedi laugh. The four allies then depart the ship, leaving the officers to finish their work.
INT. SPACE - SUNSABRE - BRIDGE
A door slides open, and Organa, Vaness and the two Jedi enter the bridge. The bridge is moving with activity, the officers preparing the ship for the journey.
A grizzled gray-haired man in his late sixties rises from the seat placed at the centre of the bridge. He turns to the newcomers and steps over to their section of the bridge.
COL. ORGANA : Admiral Malthus Antilles, this is Obi-Wan Kenobi and his ward Qui-Gon Jinn - the Jedi Knights assigned to our rescue team.
ADM. ANTILLES : Kenobi, eh? I heard of your work during the Alderaanian Incursion. From what I gather you saved a lot of lives and the world itself.
OBI-WAN : It was a team effort, sir.
ADM. ANTILLES : Regardless, if you're only half as good as Organa and the holovids let on, you'll still do all right.
OBI-WAN : Thank you, sir.
COL. ORGANA : (to Obi-Wan) We should go and get ready for the trip. (to Antilles) Request for dismissal, sir.
ADM. ANTILLES : Denied.
COL. ORGANA : (taken aback) Excuse me?
ADM. ANTILLES : Joking, Colonel. Go do your job.
COL. ORGANA : Thanks sir. (to Obi-Wan) Obi-Wan.
Organa, Vaness and the two Jedi leave the bridge through the door whence they came.
Once they have gone the admiral turns back, returning to his seat, his eyes on the forward viewscreen.
ADM. ANTILLES : Alert all ships. Tell them to prepare for the jump to hyperspace.
COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER : Right away, sir.
EXT. CORELLIA - SPACE
The Dreadnaughts and destroyers move into formation.
INT. SPACE - SUNSABRE - BRIDGE
ADM. ANTILLES : Punch it.
EXT. CORELLIA - SPACE
The fleet elongates into several luminous strings of light, jumping forward and vanishing into the depths of hyperspace.
INT. NABU - DUKE JUSTIN'S MANSION - VAULT - SUNSET
Justin Naberrie, Duke of Hales, sits at a small table playing dejarik with the small droid ICU-132, a single lamp illuminating the small rough-hewn stone walls of the vault.
DUKE JUSTIN : (gleeful) I'm winning Eye-Seeyou.
ICU-132 : That is because you programmed me to lose, My Lord.
DUKE JUSTIN : Don't be absurd. This time it's all fair.
ICU-132 : You are a bad loser, Lord Justin. Though it pains you
to hear that, nothing in my protocols prevent me from
making that clear.
DUKE JUSTIN : (annoyed) It's your move ... you bucket of bolts.
Before the droid can make it's move, sparks begin to fly from the thick durasteel door of the vault. Justin freezes with dread as an orange circle is slowly cut into the metal door.
Once the circuit is complete the cut metal is pushed out, allowing Supreme Commander Sheelal to enter the vault with a pair of Neimoidian soldiers.
DUKE JUSTIN : What are you waiting for Eye-Seeyou?! Defend me!
A pair of vibroblades extend from ICU-132's wrists, and the little droid pounces upon the intruders. A Neimoidian aims his blaster at the droid and fires, blasting ICU-132 apart. Justin stands up and backs away into a corner as Sheelal approaches him, drawing a vibrosword.
DUKE JUSTIN : Please, don't kill me! I’ll give you anything you want - anything! I'm very, very rich! I mean it!
COMMANDER SHEELAL : (activating the vibrosword) There’s only one thing you have that I want, Duke ...
DUKE JUSTIN : Ancestors preserve me!
Sheelal slashes upward, cutting the Duke's head from his shoulders, throwing blood back on the stone walls.
COMMANDER SHEELAL : (cont'd) Your head.
Sheelal turns away from the decapitated corpse, and leaves the cold vault. The two soldiers follow after him.
EXT. NABU - SPACE
The Republic armada drops out of hyperspace at the edge of the Nabu system. The fleet ships cruise toward Nabu, where countless Neimoidian capital ships form impenetrable rings around the planet.
INT. SPACE - SUNSABRE - BRIDGE
HELMSMAN : They were ready for us.
ADM. ANTILLES : Still, their fleet is smaller than ours. They'll make us sweat, I'm sure of that, but in the end we'll be the ones coming out winners. (cont'd) Inform all ships to move into attack formation.
EXT. NABU - SPACE
The Dreadnaughts and destroyers move into formation, charging up their weapons.
INT. SPACE - SUNSABRE - BRIDGE
ADM. ANTILLES : Open fire at will!
EXT. NABU - SPACE
The Dreadnaughts open fire upon the Federation ships. In moments Neimoidian starfighters deploy from the enemy craft, swarming the massive Republic Dreadnaughts.
INT. SPACE - SUNSABRE - BRIDGE
SENSOR OFFICER : Enemy fighters deployed, Admiral.
ADM. ANTILLES : Meet like with like, I always say.
EXT. NABU - SPACE
Republic starfighters leave the bellies of the Dreadnaughts, greeting the Federation fighters with salvos of deadly weapons fire.
INT. SPACE - SUNSABRE - BRIDGE
ADM. ANTILLES : Good. With the Federation fighters preoccupied we can turn our attention back to the big fish. (cont’d) Target the destroyer’s main engines.
Weapons fire is unleashed from the ship, striking the shields of the nearest Federation destroyer.
INT. SPACE - NUTE GUNRAY’S PERSONAL FLAGSHIP - BRIDGE
The flagship rocks with bombardment. Several Neimoidian officers panic, fleeing the bridge for escape pods.
Rune Haako holds onto Gunray's sleeve, shaking him.
RUNE HAAKO : Please, Your Lordship! We are being pulverized! We must counterstrike! We must move into the second phase!
Haako releases Gunray, turning toward another figure who stands serene amidst the chaos - a swarthy Dark Jedi warrior. The Neimoidian seizes the Dark Jedi’s shoulders, shaking them.
RUNE HAAKO : Signal your comrades in the other ships! You must call them out!
NUTE GUNRAY : No! (cont’d) It's not the time, Rune. Not yet.
INT. SPACE - SUNSABRE - CORRIDOR
Officers run to and fro up and down the corridor past Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, who stand off to the side observing them move by.
Organa and his twelve men appear, moving past the Jedi toward the docking bay.
COL. ORGANA : You coming?
OBI-WAN : Right behind you. (to Qui-Gon) Time for us to join the others.
The Jedi follow after the colonel and his men.
EXT. NABU - SPACE
The Republic fleet begins to overwhelm the Neimoidian ships. Two capital ships go down, one as it destroys a Republic destroyer.
A Federation fighter smashes into the Sunsabre which is protected behind its shields.
INT. SPACE - SUNSABRE - BRIDGE
ADM. ANTILLES : Ha! I knew the Neimoidians wouldn't stand a ghost of a chance - not in a fair fight. (to the communications officer) Establish communication with the Federation fleet. I want them all to hear me.
INT. SPACE - NUTE GUNRAY’S PERSONAL FLAGSHIP - BRIDGE
The image of Admiral Antilles appears on the viewscreen.
ADM. ANTILLES : This is Admiral Malthus Antilles of the Navy of the Galactic Republic. You have lost! Lay down arms and surrender immediately.
NUTE GUNRAY : (to the communications officer, Tey How) Open communication to the Republican flagship.
TEY HOW : As you wish, My Lord!
Communication is established between the two ships.
ADM. ANTILLES : Who are you?
NUTE GUNRAY : I am Nute Gunray - Viceroy to the Federation Neimoidia and absolute ruler of this fleet.
ADM. ANTILLES : Have you come to issue your surrender in person, Viceroy?
NUTE GUNRAY : I have one thing to say.
ADM. ANTILLES : Yes? What is it?
NUTE GUNRAY : The battle has not been won yet. (to Tey How) End communication!
INT. SPACE - SUNSABRE - BRIDGE
Gunray's visage fades from the viewscreen.
COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER : (turning to Antilles) Sir?
INT. SPACE - NUTE GUNRAY’S PERSONAL FLAGSHIP - BRIDGE
Gunray looks away from the viewscreen toward the Dark Jedi officer.
NUTE GUNRAY : Tell your fellow Dark Jedi that the time has come.
The fallen Jedi Knight nods his head once in acknowledgement. He then closes his eyes, calling out to his brethren through the Force.
INT. SPACE - SUNSABRE - BRIDGE
ADM. ANTILLES : Neimoidian doesn't want to face the facts! Pity for him, he's just revealed his position to our guns ...
EXT. NABU - SPACE
Countless Neimoidian Lucrehulk-class battleships, previously hidden from view, materialize as from out of nowhere, tripling the size of the waning Federation fleet.
The Lucrehulks open fire on the now-outnumbered Dreadnaughts and destroyers.
INT. SPACE - SUNSABRE - BRIDGE
SENSOR OFFICER : They have Kaminoan cloaks!
HELMSMAN : Can't be!
ADM. ANTILLES : They've figured out Cloner technology. Impressive.
A battleship begins to concentrate its firepower on the Sunsabre, rattling the flagship violently. A control panel explodes in a shower of sparks.
ADM. ANTILLES : Take evasive actions!
INT. SWIFT STRIKE - COCKPIT
Bail Organa and Major Vaness sit at the controls, readying the craft for departure. Admiral Antilles' voice pipes in over the intercom.
ADM. ANTILLES : (O.S.) Colonel Organa? You there, Bail?
COL. ORGANA : I'm here, Admiral.
ADM. ANTILLES : (O.S.) Now’s the time to warm that tin crate's engines up and get ready to depart. I'm afraid we're under heavy fire, and we probably don't have much time.
COL. ORGANA : Affirmative, Admiral.
ADM. ANTILLES : (O.S.) Organa ...
COL. ORGANA : Yes?
ADM. ANTILLES : (O.S.) You’re a fine officer. It was a pleasure to have you serve under me.
COL. ORGANA : And it was a pleasure to serve you, sir.
ADM. ANTILLES : (O.S.) Good luck Colonel, and may the Force be with you.
EXT. NABU - SPACE
The Republic armada is losing. All the destroyers have been obliterated, and the Lucrehulks are beginning to pick off the Dreadnaughts.
INT. SPACE - SUNSABRE - BRIDGE
Power on the ship is beginning to fail, causing the lights to dim and wink off. Another panel explodes.
HELMSMAN : We can't shake the battleship off, sir! We've had it!
ADM. ANTILLES : Turn around.
HELMSMAN : Sir?
ADM. ANTILLES : Turn around, dammit, before the power dies!
The Sunsabre begins to turn in a circle, moving to point directly at the pursuing battleship.
ADM. ANTILLES : Ram it!
INT. SPACE - LUCREHULK - BRIDGE
The Neimoidians watch the Dreadnaught turning to face them.
NEIMOIDIAN CAPTAIN : What ... are they doing?
INT. SPACE - SUNSABRE - BRIDGE
The Sunsabre speeds toward the battleship. The lights aboard finally fail, casting the bridge into darkness.
INT. SPACE - LUCREHULK - BRIDGE
The Neimoidians begin to panic and scream as the Sunsabre charges them.
NEIMOIDIAN CAPTAIN : Evasive manoeuvres! Now!
EXT. NABU - SPACE
The two ships collide as the Swift Strike lifts off and exits the Sunsabre's docking bay, barely escaping the brunt of the explosion as they drop down toward Nabu's surface.
Some great stuff here!
Love the reuse of the stock cg and PT footage.
Love the subtle 'Superman' thing.
Do I detect a subtle 'Pitch Black' thing too? Great.
Most of all, I love the "Heir to the Throne" thing. A lot of possibilities in that, I think. If you don't mind, that could be used in another vein as well this.
Thanks for the comments, thejediknighthusezni. I don't really know where you're seeing the Superman or Pitch Black vibes, though - could you elaborate on that?
INT. SPACE - SWIFT STRIKE - COCKPIT
Obi-Wan opens the cockpit door and silently enters, peering over the heads of Bail and Vaness at the approaching blue ball of Nabu.
OBI-WAN : I assume you know where to land?
COL. ORGANA : We have the coordinates for a Lake Paonga, under which the Gungan capital apparently resides. Since we don’t have any submersible craft, we’ll have to swim down to the city under our own power after we’ve landed.
OBI-WAN : That's what the diving gear's for, I suppose.
MAJ. VANESS : Right.
COL. ORGANA : This mission better go off without any further hitches. We can't afford to lose anymore.
OBI-WAN : Not to worry. The Force is on our side.
COL. ORGANA : You always did know what to say to make me feel better.
OBI-WAN : (smiling) The Force told me that you would say that.
EXT. NABU - SPACE
Noticing the Swift Strike, a pair of Neimoidian starfighters attack, opening fire.
INT. SPACE - SWIFT STRIKE - COCKPIT
MAJ. VANESS : What in - ?
COL. ORGANA : We're being attacked!
OBI-WAN : Can you evade them?
MAJ. VANESS : Too late! They've blasted our rear stabilizers!
EXT. NABU - SPACE
Having destroyed the Strike's engines the two fighters veer off, leaving the shuttle to fall toward Nabu's surface.
EXT. NABU - LANDSCAPE - LATE DAY
The Swift Strike drops into Nabu's atmosphere. With Organa and Vaness struggling to keep the ship stable, the craft cruises over treetops, grazing the top branches. They come to a wide open area on a lakeshore, and bring the shuttle down.
The craft hits the ground with a rough jolt, and cuts into sand. The ship skids over several metres before hitting the trunk of a tree, which brings it to a stop.
EXT. NABU - SHORELINE - LATE DAY
The colonel and the major stand outside the Swift Strike, inspecting the shuttle's damage.
COL. ORGANA : What do you think?
MAJ. VANESS : No good, Colonel. She'll never fly in this condition.
COL. ORGANA : And we can't repair it.
MAJ. VANESS : Not at all. The least we could do is patch the hull. But that wouldn't get us to Coruscant now would it?
COL. ORGANA : Didn't think so ... (cont'd) Well, I'll go tell the others. We'll see if the Gungans can’t loan us another one.
EXT. NABU - SHORELINE - LATE DAY
The rescue team exits the shuttle, clad in tight-fitting blue wetsuits with their weapons strapped to their sides.
QUI-GON : The city lies deep, doesn't it? Will the currents be strong?
COL. ORGANA : I have no idea, kid. We’ll find the answer out soon enough, though.
The team members slip rebreathers into their mouths then enter the water, wading through until the lake becomes deep enough to slip under the surface.
EXT. NABU - LAKE PAONGA - UNDERWATER - LATE DAY
They move through the water, struggling to see through the murky liquid, pushing on deeper and deeper toward the lake's bottom. In the distance the glow of the underwater city Otoh Gunga grows more distinct.
They approach one of the bubble-shaped enclosures of the city, and tentatively pass through the permeable membrane, which seals behind them.
INT. NABU - OTOH GUNGA - CITY SQUARE - LATE DAY
Gungan citizens flee as the rescue team enters the city. Twenty guards armed with electro-poles run into the square led by the grizzled Captain Tarpals. The Gungans surround the offworlders, bringing their weapons to bear.
COL. ORGANA : (approaching Tarpals) I am Bail Organa of -
Tarpals jabs the tip of his electro-pole into Organa's shoulder, causing him to jerk backward with a shout of pain.
CAPT. TARPALS : (subtitled) Relinquish your weapons!
Qui-Gon unclips his lightsaber, and the azure blade blazes to life. The Gungan warriors jump back, turning their weapons to focus directly on him.
QUI-GON : Should we resist, Obi-Wan?
OBI-WAN : No. The Gungans are not enemies. This is a misunderstanding
that we will work out once we meet with the leaders.
With some hesitation Qui-Gon deactivates his lightsaber and surrenders it to Tarpals. Once the others give up their weapons as well, the Gungans herd them out from the town square.
INT. NABU - OTOH GUNGA - HIGH TOWER BOARD ROOM - LATE DAY
The fifteen members of the rescue team stand before Gungan officials, surrounded by armed warriors, facing the Gungan leader Boss Nass. Unlike most Gungans Nass is rather rotund, bordering on morbidly obese. Dancing in and around the officials is a lanky Gungan named Jar Jar Binks, the hyperactive court jester.
JAR JAR : Heyo-dalee, Cap’n Tarpals! Whosa fhese dellows mesa see’en?
CAPT. TARPALS : (to Nass, subtitled) They entered the city without announcing themselves or attaining clearance, Your Honour. They must be agents of the invaders - assassins sent to kill the Nabu children.
JAR JAR : Oh-ho! Iss terrible! Bombad! Bombad! Bombad ass’seein’s!
BOSS NASS : (subtitled) Jar Jar, please keep quiet. This is a serious matter, and we have no time -
JAR JAR : (to the captives) Da Bosses do terrible tings to you, terrible tings!
BOSS NASS : (irritated) Jar Jar ...
JAR JAR : (cont’d) Iss embarrissing, boot yousa better dead out in da dere den dead in da here -
BOSS NASS : (enraged) Jar Jar!
JAR JAR : (turning to Nass) Ex-squeeze me?
BOSS NASS : (subtitled) Begone!
The rotund Gungan throws out a fist, hitting the fool in the face. The retarded Gungan topples over with a cry, hitting the solid floor with a grunt.
BOSS NASS : (subtitled) Go now!
JAR JAR : How wude!
The jester picks himself up with some difficulty, then quickly makes his exit from the room. Once gone, the other Gungans turn their attention back to the captives.
BOSS NASS : (to the captives) Forgive Jar Jar. He is ... not right in teh head ... (Cont’d) Back toe business. Have u'sa anything toe say for yourselves in regards toe these matters? Speak now.
COL. ORGANA : I am Bail Organa of Alderaan and lieutenant colonel in the Republic Navy. My men and I were sent to take the children of the Nabu Royal Family away from here to safety on Coruscant. We mean no harm, and we are not emissaries of the Neimoidian Federation.
BOSS NASS : Ah! Colonel of teh Republic? Gen'sai of teh Republic?
COL. ORGANA : Agents? Yes, yes we are.
BOSS NASS : Identification please.
COL. ORGANA : Excuse me?
BOSS NASS : Surely teh saviours of teh Royal Children would come bearing some sort of identification - toe verify their claims?
COL. ORGANA : What - ? (cont’d) Oh, stang ...
OBI-WAN : Problem, Bail?
COL. ORGANA : I knew I forgot something.
BOSS NASS : (to the Gungan guards, subtitled) Dispose of them, before they have the chance to reveal our position.
COL. ORGANA : (panicking) We have Jedi with us! You got their lightsabers - look! You can't think the Neimoidians would have Jedi on their side!?
BOSS NASS : Traitors, clones, pretenders - anyone can hold teh laser saber. It's only a weapon.
OBI-WAN : (waving his hand) You will free us and return our weapons.
BOSS NASS : (to the Gungan guards, subtitled) You will free them and return their weapons.
OBI-WAN : We are soldiers for the Republic.
BOSS NASS : (subtitled) They are soldiers for the Republic.
COL. ORGANA : We will have to take the children with us immediately. We need you to supply us with a ship.
BOSS NASS : We Gungans do not have spaceflight. It is something we left toe teh Nabu. U'sa will need toe go up toe a Nabu city toe get what you'll need.
CAPT. TARPALS : Teh town Gordon has a spaceport. A ship can be aqui'ara there.
BOSS NASS : (to Bail) We'll give u'sa a bongo. Teh fastest way toe teh Nabu is by way of teh sub'tarau tunnels. My loyal servant-warrior Tarpals will guide you past teh dangers toe teh surface.
CAPT. TARPALS : O'Nor?
BOSS NASS : My request, Captain. O'nor it.
CAPT. TARPALS : Yus, U'sa O'Nor.
COL. ORGANA : Thank you, Your Lordship.
BOSS NASS : Now go.
OBI-WAN : I must warn you, Your Honour. The Neimoidians have conquered the surface - it is inevitable that they will move on to your cities. You must find a place of safety for your people to go to before it is too late.
BOSS NASS : When we come toe that stream we will cross it, Jedi. As we have always done before.
INT. NABU - OTOH GUNGA - PALACE - AMIDALA’S QUARTERS - LATE DAY
Princess Amidala sits before a large, ornate vanity mirror, her royal silks now traded in for white close-fitting attire. A stern expression sits on her face as a Gungan handmaiden standing behind her futilely tries to braid her tresses into a squash blossom hairstyle.
AMIDALA : When are you going to be done with this?
HANDMAIDEN : Soon, Princess Amidala.
AMIDALA : You said that ten minutes ago. (cont’d) You’re not even doing it right!
HANDMAIDEN : Don’t worry. I’ll be finished soon.
Amidala bolts upright from her seat, turning to face the Gungan with her face twisted in anger. The Gungan backs up in alarm.
AMIDALA : You’re horrible! Horrible! Don’t you realize?! Don’t you get it?! You can’t do anything with my hair! Anything!! I’ll fix it myself! (cont’d) Get out! Get the hell out!!!
The handmaiden backs off and quickly moves to leave the room. As she reaches the door it opens, with Obi-Wan and Panaka standing in the frame. The Gungan pushes past them, fleeing down the hall. Amidala turns from the two new arrivals, returning to the mirror. In moments her hair is suitably braided.
CAPT. PANAKA : Princess?
AMIDALA : This is my “Jedi protector”, I assume?
CAPT. PANAKA : One of them.
AMIDALA : (standing up and moving over to them) Such a shame you couldn’t have been here sooner - when my parents and sister needed you.
OBI-WAN : I am sorry for your loss.
AMIDALA : I’m sure you are. (to Panaka) Where’s my brother?
CAPT. PANAKA : He’s waiting for us with the others outside.
No further words are said, and the three leave the room, closing the door behind them.
INT. NABU - OTOH GUNGA - STREETS - LATE DAY
Throngs of Gungans litter the streets of the submerged city, moving in droves to their destinations. The Prince and Princess with their protective entourage make their way through the teeming masses on their way to the docks. Prince Oeta stays at Qui-Gon’s side, relentlessly pestering him with questions - much to the Jedi apprentice’s chagrin.
OETA : So you’re a Jedi, right?
QUI-GON : As I’ve said before, yes.
OETA : (pointing at Obi-Wan) And he’s one too, right?
QUI-GON : Yes.
OETA : That’s a laser sword you got there, right?
QUI-GON : It’s a lightsaber.
OETA : So?
QUI-GON : So it’s a lightsaber, not a laser sword.
OETA : Laser sword sounds better.
QUI-GON : A lightsaber is what it’s called. It’s always been called a lightsaber.
OETA : Laser sword still sounds better.
QUI-GON : Whatever.
OETA : (cont’d) Where are we going? Are you taking us away from the Neimoidians?
QUI-GON : That appears to be the plan.
OETA : (cont’d) So ... what colour is it?
QUI-GON : What colour is what?
OETA : Your laser sword.
QUI-GON : Blue.
OETA : So you’re a good Jedi.
AMIDALA : There’s no such thing as a good Jedi.
QUI-GON : (to Oeta) What has that got to do with it?
OETA : I’ve read that good Jedi have blue swords. Bad Jedi use other colours.
QUI-GON : Nonsense. Lightsaber colour has nothing to do with affiliation.
OETA : Then why do all good Jedi have blue swords?
QUI-GON : We don’t. Most of us use synthetic crystals in our lightsabers which produce blue blades, but some others use different kinds of crystals.
OETA : Why blue?
QUI-GON : Because the make-up of the crystal makes it blue.
OETA : Why do other Jedi have other colours?
QUI-GON : (exasperated) Because they use different crystals!
AMIDALA : Stop talking to him, Etey. You know better than to talk to them.
OETA : (ashamed) Oh, that’s right ... I’m sorry. I forgot.
AMIDALA : (to Qui-Gon) Don’t talk to us, Jedi. We don’t need your conversation.
QUI-GON : (angry) I never asked for it, you spoiled brat!
OBI-WAN : (to Qui-Gon) Patience ... (to Amidala) Princess, if we’ve insulted you -
AMIDALA : You’re Jedi. You can't be trusted. None of your kind can be trusted.
CAPT. PANAKA : (to Obi-Wan) Anti-Jedi sentiment runs high here on Nabu, especially within the ranks of the Royal Family. The Princess is well aware of the Jedi’s history with our people.
OBI-WAN : What history?
CAPT. PANAKA : I guess I shouldn’t expect you to have read any of our annals. (cont’d) Our world was swept into a major conflict one thousand years ago after relations between two formerly-allied city-states broke down and they went to war. (cont’d) Kayos’s actions were the cause of it all.
OBI-WAN : Kayos?
CAPT. PANAKA : One of your Knights.
EXT. NABU - OTOH GUNGA - UNDERWATER - LATE DAY
A fleet of fifteen submarines move on an steady course toward the glowing spheres of Otoh Gunga. They are Neimoidian S-DSTs - aquatic destroyers.
INT. NABU - S-DST FLAGSHIP - BRIDGE
A Neimoidian admiral - tall and regal - sits at his seat, his eyes trained on the image of Supreme Commander Sheelal situated on the viewscreen before him.
NEIMOIDIAN ADMIRAL : We have arrived at the Gungan settlement, Supreme Commander. Shall we commence with the bombardment?
COMMANDER SHEELAL : Yes. (cont’d) Reduce it to rubble. Leave nothing standing.
EXT. NABU - OTOH GUNGA - UNDERWATER - LATE DAY
The S-DSTs take position above and around Otoh Gunga, and begin throwing volleys of laserfire down upon the city.
INT. NABU - OTOH GUNGA - STREETS - LATE DAY
Before Panaka can begin relating the story of Kayos to Obi-Wan the weapons fire of the S-DSTs strikes the city, rocking the foundations of the city violently. The townspeople then start to scream in terror, breaking out into a stampede as they rush to find cover, trampling one another to the ground in the process.
QUI-GON : Obi-Wan!
OBI-WAN : Don’t use your lightsaber! Try to push them back!
The two Jedi attempt to keep the panicking Gungans back away from them as they pour forward. The amphibians are too numerous, however, and they manage to push through. The entourage is pushed apart, with some falling to the ground and Oeta getting swept away in the crowd.
AMIDALA : Oeta!
OETA : Ami! Help me!
Before Amidala can demand help or offer her own a second volley of lasers strikes Otoh Gunga, and the containment bubble above winks out. The bubble quickly reforms, but not before a large torrent of water falls in and hits them all, breaking the stampede apart and sweeping everyone away in all directions.
EXT. TASIA - DARK TOWER - EVENING
The light of Nabu falls upon the barren surface of its third moon, Tasia. From the barren, icy ground rises a single tower - an ancient observatory now black and pitted with age. This is the home base of the Sith Lord Maul.
INT. TASIA - DARK TOWER - BOARD ROOM - EVENING
The board room is long but not wide, with no burning lights, and houses an old metal table and a single bay window. Sitting at the table’s only chair, his back to the window, is Maul. Maul is at ease, his eyes falling upon the only item resting on the table - a crystal globe, half-filled with a pearlescent liquid.
Maul reaches out, and picks up the globe. Instantly the liquid within begins to blaze with light and colour, thrashing like something alive. Raising the globe to his face, Maul begins to concentrate on the churning liquid.
In seconds the liquid takes on a cohesive form - a hideous bat-winged reptile, blue-purple in colour. Concentrating further, the image is refined, and the winged reptile turns into a beautiful insect with delicate, iridescent wings. The Sith Lord relaxes his concentration, and the insect collapses back into formless fluid.
The Zabrak closes his eyes, and the pearlescent liquid begins to churn again, glowing with rapidly-shifting colours as half-formed limbs and faces come into being. Opening his eyes, the nebulous mass takes cohesive shape - an elderly shawled human woman in gray-brown miniature.
A slight smile creeps onto Maul’s face, and the small woman suddenly blazes with glaring orange light. Once the intensity dies down, in the place of the old woman stands a lithe Zabrak woman, nude and perfectly formed; the young beauty begins to dance in the centre of the globe, pirouetting, leaping, and bowing. Maul’s smile grows larger.
The glowing orange beauty begins to spasm, its graceful movements going jerky as secondary limps and heads begin to sprout from its body; the form writhes as the body imperfectly tries to clone itself, to separate into three separate copies of the youthful female Zabrak. In the end the attempt fails, and the form settles back into a solitary individual.
The horns of the miniature then sprout, quadrupling in length, and then the body itself follows suit; the beautiful orange form twists and elongates, transforming into an ugly electric blue beast with cloven hooves.
Maul’s smile turns to a firm line and, irritated, he closes his hand around the crystal globe, shattering it. The liquid, oxidizing immediately, turns a lustreless gray as it runs through his clenched fingers.
Disappointed, Maul throws down the crushed remains of the globe, and then rises to his feet. Turning around he walks toward the bay window, looking out at the view of the frozen landscape and the blue planet that floats above it.
INT. NABU - OTOH GUNGA - STREETS - LATE DAY
Groaning, water-logged Bail Organa rises to his feet, and surveys his surroundings. Some time has past, and the Gungan equivalent of klaxons have begun to blare. The Colonel looks down to his right, and notices for the first time Major Vaness lying
sprawled out at his feet, slowly regaining consciousness.
COL. ORGANA : You okay, Raia?
MAJ. VANESS : (coughing) Fine, just fine. (cont’d) Could I have a hand, please?
Bail grabs hold of Vaness’s outstretched hand, and helps her to her feet.
COL. ORGANA : The others ...?
MAJ. VANESS : They could be anywhere.
An explosion is heard in the distance, and the city lights dim.
COL. ORGANA : We’d better hurry and find them.
Several minutes pass, and most of the disassembled entourage is located - water logged but alive - expect for Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Amidala, Oeta, and Ric Olié, who all remain missing.
COL. ORGANA : I don’t understand this. Where could they be?
MAJ. VANESS : Colonel, maybe they’re -
COL. ORGANA : Don’t say it.
They resume the search. Eventually they come upon Qui-Gon, who crouches beside Ric Olié. Olié, the back of his head bloody, is near death’s door.
COL. ORGANA : What happened to him?
QUI-GON : He must have hit his head against something. I don’t know what.
RIC OLIÉ : I’m ... I’m dying.
QUI-GON : Just hold on. We’ll get you some medical attention.
RIC OLIÉ : Attention? For me? (laughs) Too late for that, kid, too late.
Olié’s face then goes slack. He’s dead. Qui-Gon rises to his feet, turning from the corpse to the others.
QUI-GON : You haven’t found Obi-Wan?
MAJ. VANESS : We were hoping he and the kids were with you.
OBI-WAN : (O.S.) I’m here.
The retinue spins around, and there stands Obi-Wan far to their left, the semi-conscious form of Princess Amidala in his arms.
CAPT. PANAKA : Prince Oeta ...?
OBI-WAN : I couldn’t find him. He must have fled with the townspeople.
Panaka quickly walks up to the Jedi Knight, and roughly grabs onto his arms.
CAPT. PANAKA : (shaking the Jedi) We have to find him! Before it’s too late, we have to find him!
OBI-WAN : Captain, it’s already too late. Look around you, at this city. If we stop to search for the Prince we waste precious time - we risk dooming us all. The field could collapse a second time and stay down. We would all then die - you, me, the Princess herself. (cont’d) We must concentrate on getting to a bongo while there is - if there is - still one, and from there getting off-planet with the Princess.
CAPT. PANAKA : Is the Prince ...? Do you know ...?
OBI-WAN : I know nothing. All I can do is pray for him.
CAPT. PANAKA : Alright ... You’re right. (cont’d) Let’s go.
The retinue then heads on its way, through the watery streets, toward the docks. As they do so Amidala regains consciousness, calling out for her brother as she does so. Those calls quickly turn to yells, then to screams, as they flee the dying metropolis.
EXT. NABU - OTOH GUNGA - UNDERWATER - LATE DAY
The bongo leaves Otoh Gunga, moving away from the S-DST destroyers, the flickering lights of the city, and the flash of explosions, into the darkness of the lake.
INT. NABU - BONGO - COCKPIT
Tarpals sits at the bongo's controls, with the two Jedi, Republic soldiers, Amidala and her bodyguards seated behind him. The Princess is ranting and raving at the Jedi.
AMIDALA : You left my brother to die!
QUI-GON : There wasn’t much we could have done.
AMIDALA : (aghast) Wasn’t much you could have done!? You could have done more!!
QUI-GON : (angry) Really? With S-DSTs dropping bombs on our heads? How long, pray tell, do you suppose we would have lasted under those conditions if we had stopped and stayed to throughly search for your brother?
AMIDALA : What of your vaunted powers, Master Jedi? Did you lose the ability to push and pull with your thoughts, to touch the minds of others? (cont’d) You sicken me.
QUI-GON : We had no time! We are not all-powerful!
AMIDALA : (enraged) You should be!!!
An awkward silence falls between them.
EXT. NABU - LAKE PAONGA - UNDERWATER - LATE DAY
The bongo heads toward the opening of a subterranean cave. The craft passes into the cave, moving into pitch black darkness. The lights of the bongo blaze to life, exposing a massive underwater cavern.
COL. ORGANA : So far so good.
CAPT. TARPALS : Sho'da spake so soon.
COL. ORGANA : Huh?
CAPT. PANAKA : There are a number of dangerous predators in these caverns. Thanks to defensive systems they don't attack the cities anymore. But down in here, it's a whole different story.
EXT. NABU - LAKE - SUBTERRANEAN TUNNEL - LATE DAY
The bongo passes over a large round shape in the tunnel. Once they are past the shape comes to life, and begins moving after the sub.
INT. NABU - BONGO - COCKPIT
COL. ORGANA : We’re prey, aren’t we?
The craft rocks suddenly, lurching to one side. Peering out a viewport, Obi-Wan sights a massive luminous opee sea killer - it's long tongue affixed to the bongo.
OBI-WAN : Full speed ahead!
Tarpals guns the engines, but the bongo fails to make much progress. Suddenly, the monster releases the craft, and the sub rockets free. As they speed away they see that a larger creature, a sando aqua monster, has caught the sea killer in it's jaws. The lights on the bongo begin to flicker as they progress through the tunnel.
EXT. NABU - GORDON LAKE - UNDERWATER - LATE DAY
The bongo exits the tunnel, coming out into another lake. The sub moves toward the surface.
INT. NABU - BONGO - COCKPIT
Sparks are flying within the bongo, and the hull is leaking.
QUI-GON : We're losing power.
OBI-WAN : We shall be on the surface in moments.
EXT. NABU - GORDON LAKE - LATE DAY
The submarine rises to the surface, breaking through the water. On the shore sits a large harbour. The bongo moves toward a dock.
Once the craft has stopped the hatch opens, and the passengers climb out onto the dock.
COL. ORGANA : Where's this spaceport located?
CAPT. TARPALS : (consulting a datapad) According toe teh map ... south two kilometres, then another toe teh southwest.
AMIDALA : Then we’d best get going.
EXT. NABU - PALACE - BALCONY - SUNSET
Supreme Commander Sheelal stands over the palace balcony, overlooking the city of Theed below.
Three Neimoidian soldiers come out of the palace onto the balcony, two of which drag the struggling Governor of Theed Sio Bibble out with them. Bibble is in his late sixties, with long gray hair and a beard.
NEIMOIDIAN COMMANDER : Supreme Commander, we have apprehended the governor as you ordered.
COMMANDER SHEELAL : Good ...
SIO BIBBLE : You scum! I demand that you bring me before your commanding officer!
COMMANDER SHEELAL : You are Sio Bibble, governor of this fair city.
SIO BIBBLE : Yes. What of it?!
COMMANDER SHEELAL : You were the cousin of Queen Jobal, were you not?
SIO BIBBLE : Yes ...
COMMANDER SHEELAL : (to the Neimoidian commander) Blaster.
The soldier hands the weapon to Sheelal. The Commander takes the blaster, then aims it at the Governor's face. Bibble's head disappears with a flash, and the body goes limp in the arms of it's captors.
COMMANDER SHEELAL : Throw the trash over the side.
The mercenaries carry Bibble's body over to the balcony railing, then heave it up and over, letting it fall to the ground below.
DuracellEnergizer said:
They resume the search. Eventually they come upon Qui-Gon, who crouches beside Ric Olié. Olié, the back of his head bloody, is near death’s door.
?
COL. ORGANA : What happened to him?
QUI-GON : He must have hit his head against something. I don’t
know what.
RIC OLIÉ : I’m ... I’m dying.
QUI-GON : Just hold on. We’ll get you some medical attention.
RIC OLIÉ : Attention? For me? (laughs) Too late for that, kid,
too late.
?
Olié’s face then goes slack. He’s dead. Qui-Gon rises to his feet, turning from the corpse to the others.
Worst. Story. Ever.
^ Well, how would you re-write TPM Ric? Would every character except you die?
<span style=“font-weight: bold;”>The Most Handsomest Guy on OT.com</span>
Ric Olie said:
DuracellEnergizer said:
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">
They resume the search. Eventually they come upon Qui-Gon, who crouches beside Ric Olié. Olié, the back of his head bloody, is near death’s door.
?
COL. ORGANA : What happened to him?
QUI-GON : He must have hit his head against something. I don’t
know what.
RIC OLIÉ : I’m ... I’m dying.
QUI-GON : Just hold on. We’ll get you some medical attention.
RIC OLIÉ : Attention? For me? (laughs) Too late for that, kid,
too late.
?
Olié’s face then goes slack. He’s dead. Qui-Gon rises to his feet, turning from the corpse to the others.
</span>
Worst. Story. Ever.
DuracellEnergizer said:
Plus, he isn't as handsome as you are.
Stating the obvious is my job.
You catch on pretty quick.
Now there are two of them!
EXT. NABU - GORDON SPACEPORT - TWILIGHT
The travellers and their Gungan guide crouch down behind the cover of a thick duracrete wall, with Obi-Wan surveying the spaceport beyond with his electrobinoculars. Each of the derelict ships are guarded by a pair of armed Neimoidian soldiers.
The Jedi lowers his binoculars and drops down with the others.
OBI-WAN : The shipyard is heavily guarded. The Akkadian is the closest ship, so it’ll be the easiest one to capture.
MAJ. VANESS : There’s still risk involved.
CAPT. PANAKA : Amidala is under my protection, Jedi. I failed her
brother and sister. I can't fail her, too.
OBI-WAN : I cannot guarantee her safety, Captain. I can only give you my word that I’ll do what I can.
COL. ORGANA : So we're grabbing an Akkadian.
OBI-WAN : Exactly.
COL. ORGANA : Then let's move out.
They stand, quickly turning and leaping over the low wall onto the tarmac. They run toward the guarded Akkadian, the Jedi activating their lightsabers as they approach the two guards.
The Neimoidians bring their blasters up into firing position as the Jedi swing their blue blades, cutting the soldiers down. The mercenaries guarding the other cruisers quickly notice the commotion and begin to attack them, blasters firing.
The Republic soldiers and Nabu bodyguards return fire, with the Jedi using their lightsabers to ricochet the Neimoidians’ fire back and the Force to push the beings away. One of the bodyguards and one of Organa's men are struck and go down.
QUI-GON : (using the Force to open the ship's hatch) Quickly! Get aboard!
They hurry onto the craft once the hatch is down, Obi-Wan guarding their flanks. The Knight deactivates his lightsaber and jumps aboard as the engines roar to life, closing the hatch behind him.
The Neimoidian soldiers swarm the ship as it rises, opening fire with their weapons as it soars up into the violet sky.
EXT. NABU - SPACE
The ship escapes Nabu's atmosphere, entering a field of debris from destroyed star cruisers. The Federation blockade is still in place, with no intact Republic ships in sight.
INT. SPACE - AKKADIAN - COCKPIT
QUI-GON : There's no sign of the Republic fleet, Obi-Wan. It appears they were all destroyed.
OBI-WAN : Damn! (to Qui-Gon) Power up the guns, Qui-Gon.
QUI-GON : Uh ... this ship has no weapons. We're defenceless.
OBI-WAN : Then you'd better put the shields up to full power and get ready for some fancy manoeuvring.
EXT. NABU - SPACE
Qui-Gon pilots the small ship forward toward a space between two massive Lucrehulks. As they pass through the battleships open fire. The Padawan manages to dodge four salvos of heavy turbolaser fire, but a fifth strikes the engines, blasting one to shards, and the ship goes dead.
INT. SPACE - AKKADIAN - COCKPIT
COL. ORGANA : Stang!
QUI-GON : Diverting power to auxiliary engines!
The lights inside the ship go dark, and the craft rockets forward, engines at full power.
EXT. NABU - SPACE
Hangar bay doors on the Lucrehulks open, unleashing squadrons of droid starfighters on the fleeing cruiser.
INT. SPACE - AKKADIAN - COCKPIT
QUI-GON : There's not enough power to take us to Coruscant ... the hyperdrive has been damaged.
OBI-WAN : We'll have to land somewhere to repair the ship.
CAPT. PANAKA : With those fighters on our tails?!
QUI-GON : (studying a star chart on a monitor) Here, Obi-Wan. Tatooine ... it's small, out of the way ... the Federation has no presence there.
CAPT. PANAKA : How can you be sure?
OBI-WAN : It's controlled by the Hutts ...
CAPT. PANAKA : The Hutts!?
QUI-GON : It's risky ... but there's no alternative.
CAPT. PANAKA : You can't take Her Royal Highness there! The Hutts are gangsters. If they discovered her ...
OBI-WAN : ... It would be no different than if we landed on a system controlled by the Federation - except the Hutts aren't looking for her, which gives us an advantage.
CAPT. PANAKA : (sighing) Okay. It's your call.
EXT. NABU - SPACE
As the droid fighters catch up with the ship it leaps into hyperspace, escaping a volley of lethal laserfire.
INT. SPACE - NUTE GUNRAY’S PERSONAL FLAGSHIP - NUTE GUNRAY'S PERSONAL CHAMBERS
Viceroy Nute Gunray stands before the holographic projection of Lord Maul, who has his arms crossed over his chest.
NUTE GUNRAY : We control all the cities in the north and are now concentrating on the Gungan settlements -
MAUL : Yes, yes - what about the brats?
NUTE GUNRAY : Amidala ... escaped, My Lord ... on a cruiser that managed to make it past the blockade. (cont’d) Prince Oeta was not reported to have been with the rescue party, however, so we believe him to be dead.
MAUL : I don’t want beliefs, Viceroy, I want certainties! I want their bodies laid out on a slab!
NUTE GUNRAY : My Lord, you ask the impossible ... To locate the Prince ... the ship ... It's out of our range.
MAUL : Not for a master of the dark Force ... (cont’d) You find the Prince. I will deal with your lost ship.
NUTE GUNRAY : Yes, My Lord.
Maul cuts the connection, throwing the chamber into eerie darkness.
NUTE GUNRAY : This is getting out of hand ... I should never have made this bargain.