Oh, one ref to coruscant I completely missed before seeing it here :o)

Obi is in pretty good shape after the fight. I thought he might bear some physical scars from the encounter back to the core. Provide some expo as to why Yoda and others can overcome limits when the Force flows. Why he can fight Palpy.

A (slightly) less radical edit would be to have Obi sacrifice himself and his fighter to save the younger and more powerful Jedi for the mission. Thought that in the battle, Obi could meneuver his ship behind Ani's to take the hits (B of Midway.) Ani could take charge of the mission, but it seems like Obi's lost. A desolate "I've lost wing leader, I'm going in." over the coms. Then the hero reappears at the last moment to save Ani and Obi survives.

Could each squadron have it's own control officer at the command center (B of Britain) Mostly female? Different holo stations for controls and for commanders. Create sense of larger battle. I like the idea of doing everything possible to recreate that WWII, and before vibe. :)