Lots of other things that feel wrong about this dialog:

Why does Qui-Gon say "no thought of self" right after talking about the possibility of "avoiding oblivion" while retaining consciousness, and DEMONSTRATING THAT HIMSELF WHILE HE'S SPEAKING?

Then there's that Shaman of Dshinghis reference... WHY is it in the script??!

Through compassion, not greed? Oh, so the Jedi and force ghost thing is established as good, not evil, thanks. You see, it's achieved with "compassion". If you're not going to elaborate on that, just fucking strike it out or it remains as a horrible artificially shoved-in cliché so obviously there to serve as checkbox.

Then, how come Yoda never ever mentioned Qui-Gon in EpV and VI, given that he had been his "apprentice" in becoming a ghost? I mean, everyone else keeps talking about Qui-Gon in those movies, why not Yoda??!

That whole scene reads like it was written by a 7 year old. Could it have been delivered well with some good acting (and actor's modification)? Maybe. But it was right about staying the fuck out of the movie.