Writing the proper crawl is an art form, and I think many fanedits with custom crawls don't give it enough care.

This revised crawl by hebrides is very good, but it could be tightened up just a bit.

Here's my stab at it:

After discovering the terrible truth of his father's fate, Luke Skywalker has returned to Dagobah to complete his Jedi training with Master Yoda.

Meanwhile, Lando Calrissian has infiltrated the court of the vile gangster JABBA THE HUTT. Learning that Chewbacca has been captured, Lando has sent a message to Princess Leia. Growing impatient for Luke to return, the Princess has developed her own rescue plan.

Little do they know that the GALACTIC EMPIRE is secretly constructing a new DEATH STAR. When completed, this ultimate weapon will spell certain doom for the small band of rebels struggling to restore freedom to the galaxy...

(Better, but it might still need some additional polishing. When it says Lando learns of Chewbacca's capture, something about that doesn't seem quite right. Lando and Chewie were supposed to be working together, but the crawl makes it sound like they weren't.)