As I've mentioned before, I'm replacing the Trade federation dialogue with Japanese. As such I'll be writing my own subtitles for the Neimoidians so that their dialogue carries more weight and conveys more story wise. Here's my first pass at the opening scenes aboard the federation command ship. Comments welcomed and appreciated. Hopefully a video mock up coming soon.
Trade Federation dialogue:
TC-14 delivers the news of the Jedi's arrival.
Viceroy: Report. Who has the Chancellor sent?
TC-14: The Chancellor has sent 2 Jedi Knights excellency.
Underling: Jedi! This gambit is getting out of hand!
Viceroy: Stay calm! I have everything under control. See to the Jedi while I contact the Dark Lord.
Underling: Are you kidding me? Those Jedi can see into your soul! Send the droid.
Viceroy contacts the Dark Lord.
Underling: My lord, Jedi have been sent to end the blockade! We must abandon this course before they learn of your involvement or we'll all be finished!
Dark Lord: Viceroy, I don't want this slime in my sight again. This turn of events is unfortunate, we must accelerate our plans. Begin landing your troops.
Viceroy: Invade? But the senate will never sanction the legality of...
Dark Lord: I will make it legal.
Viceroy: And what of the Jedi?
Dark Lord: Kill them immediately.
Viceroy: It shall be as you command my lord. (alternate possibility: It will be done my lord.)
Jedi/Droid battle.
Holographic Viceroy to battledroids: Terminate the Jedi. They must not be allowed to escape.
On the bridge -
Viceroy: Report! What happened?
Bridge officer: Security team Alpha has been wiped out.
Underling: Your security droids are no match for Jedi Knights!
Viceroy: I didn't hear you coming up with any bright ideas! Activate the Destroyers immediately.
Bridge officer: Yes sir.
Underling: That will only delay the inevitable.
Viceroy: Secure the bridge!
Underling: You've doomed us all!
As Qui-Gon begins cutting through the sealed door -
Viceroy: Close the blast doors.
Blast doors close -
Viceroy: All security teams to the bridge NOW!
Door begins to burn -
Underling: They're breaking through!
Viceroy: No, they're sealing their fate.
Chunk of door falls away -
Underling: Your overconfidence will be our undoing!
Destroyers arrive and Jedi flee -
Underling: My deepest apologies excellency. You were right.
Bridge officer: Sir, our internal sensors have lost them.
Communication from Alderaan -
Bridge officer: Incoming transmission from the Naboo Palace on Alderaan.
Viceroy: Queen Amidala, I am so pleased to see you.
Queen: You will not be so pleased when you hear what I have to say Viceroy, your trade boycott of our planet has ended.
Viceroy: Has it indeed?
Queen: I have word that the chancellor's ambassadors are with you know, and you have been commanded to reach settlement.
Viceroy: There are no Jedi here, I assure you. And this runs much deeper than a simple trade boycott majesty.
Queen: Beware Viceroy, the federation has gone too far this time.
Viceroy: Do not assume that we will ignore your role in crippling our commerce, or that the senate will ignore our ancient claim on this system. You will not prevail.
Queen: We'll see.
Underling: Excellency! You said Jedi, not...
Viceroy: I'm aware of what I said!
Underling: We must jam their communications at once!
Viceroy: Agreed. Launch the invasion force. Alderaan will be ours once again.
I`m currently running with the idea that the trade federation has a claim on the Alderaan system, kinda like the falkland islands (Kudos to Bingo for the suggestion). Further, Alderaan was a key player in the outlawing of Spice, the trade federations main commodity.