2nd draft of my Episode 1 opening crawl. Zeroing in on something I'm happy with. As always, suggestions, comment and criticism welcome.

Star Wars

Episode I

The Gathering Storm

It is a period of civil unrest. The Galactic Republic, which has stood for over a thousand generations, is in decline. Corruption, greed and apathy have taken root. The seeds of evil are sown throughout the Galaxy.

The wicked Trade Federation has seized control of the Alderaan system with a blockade of deadly battleships. As the senate looks on, the supreme chancellor calls upon the Jedi, guardians of peace and justice in the Galaxy, to resolve the conflict.

Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn, overseeing young Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi's trials of knighthood, has been dispatched to liberate Alderaan from the tyranny of the Federation and restore freedom to the peaceful system....

Still looking for a title that I think works and is dramatic. I'm liking The Gathering Storm more than my previous iteration The Coming Storm. All suggestions happily accepted, no guarantees that I will take them though ;)