A Short Script about the lack of OOT in the upcoming blu-ray sets that I call, "Return of Jabba's Trap".
STARRING Justin Timberlake as Luke, George Lucas as Jabba the Hutt
LUKE TIMBERLAKE: (breaks the 4th wall and addresses YOU)
Hi. I'm Luke Skywalker! I'm here to rescue you....and the OOT, and yes I am a little short for a storm trooper."
(pause for viewer interaction)
VIEWER: Uhhhh? Ok.
JABBA THE LUCAS: "Ohhhohohohoho! Ahhhhahahahaha! (Clicks on popular websites tracking the pre-sale) I see the new blu-ray box sets are being pre-ordered in record numbers. If you surrender now and buy them, I will show some mercy to you by feeding you to the Rancor instead of the mighty Sarlac! (Salacious B. Crumb laughs)
LUKE TIMBERLAKE: "I'll never surrender to you Jabba. You can attempt to kill me, but if you were successful, which you won't be, I would grow more powerful than you could ever imagine. Furthermore, I will never buy anymore Star Wars merchandise unless you release the OOT from the carbonite at once!...oh yeah and release General Solo as well.
C-3P0: Sir, you're standing over...
JABBA THE LUCAS: AHAHAHA! (opens trap door, Luke falls in)...I can make any changes to the movies I want...no more bone to battle the rancor, and no more switch you can throw a rock at! Die Jedi!
(Rancor eats Luke, crunch crunch crunch, Jabba the Lucas laughs, Jar Jar walks into the scene wearing a vintage OOT-era Star Wars shirt to add insult to injury..."Meesa shirt is kewl, right!?" *winks, then high fives the Rancor and leaves unharmed* )
SPIRIT OF LUKE TIMBERLAKE: I still have won Jabba...I will never buy your merchandise again until you release the OOT from the carbonite...at that point, it's a rescue mission fulfilled.
THE END