I've been fiddling around with the opening crawl for Episode I today. Originally I was going to go with the title Balance of the Force, the long rumoured title of Episode I before the announcement came down that it would in fact be The Phantom Menace. Alas, it's already been used in the fan editing community and I want to be able to set my edits apart. Further, since I intend to remove the whole chosen one/prophecy nonsense from the Saga the title is no longer as relevant.
Right now I'm leaning towards The Coming Storm. However, I'm always open to suggestions.
Here's my opening crawl as it stands right now. Comments and criticism always welcome.
STAR WARS
Episode I
THE COMING STORM
It is a period of civil unrest. The Galactic Republic, which has stood for over a thousand generations, is in decline. Corruption, greed and apathy have taken root and evil is everywhere.
The wicked Trade Federation has seized control of the Alderaan system with a blockade of deadly battleships. As the senate looks on the supreme chancellor calls upon the Jedi, guardians of peace and justice in the Galaxy, to resolve the conflict.
Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn, overseeing young Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi's trials of knighthood, has been dispatched to liberate Alderaan from the tyranny of the Federation and to restore freedom to the peaceful system....
Thoughts?