Well, actually, it's still the spoon that's bent, because it's not some kind of image in a dream, it's an actual virtual object that can be observed being bent by others. They don't observe YOU being bent, or "your mind", it's... the spoon.
The only way this could make sense would be by asking the question: "when the telekinetic moves an object through space, does he move the object, or himself?" The answer of course being, if it's the latter, he'd also have to move the whole rest of the universe save for the object in question, otherwise everyone else would merely observe HIM flying through the air, not the object - and suddenly, the whole crap falls apart.
Magneto can fly whenever applying his powers to metal object that are way too heavy for him to move, so he ends up moving himself rather than, say, the statue of liberty. Of course, this clever idea is instantly nullfied when we see Magneto hover on a metal plate he controls himself, but hey - that scene is badass.
Point is, if he only bends himself, he'd better bend the whole universe along with him, as well (like maybe as he does at the end of the film?! when he bends the walls?), save for the spoon - either that, or bend himself and everyone's else's MIND so they perceive the spoon bent, but then, that invokes the question of how they'll end up interacting with the spoon (that actually is still unbent, right?), and either way, changing everyone's perception through the network is still an externalized action, and it's not what the kid said, either.
Then, apparently the writers had originally wanted the Matrix to be a network between human brains (sort of mimicking the "the mind shapes the world" concept, I guess), but executive meddling said no, so instead, the script clearly provides us with a computer program run somewhere on a computer, that people can plug in and interact with. Or change, if so, but still by changing the actual world, not just "themselves".
Next, we gotta question how in a world that's based on code, hacking and security overriding, people can attempt to bend the rules by sheer faith, or power of will. If they've written some hax that allows them to move super fast, or jump across roofs, can't they just program it into their heads, too? Like "Kung Fu"? Why the whole "let go of everything you know" crap?
Fanwank might say it's how the Machines programmed the Matrix so the rebels would have more confidence in themselves - common sense sez, the writers used the whole "virtual reality" plot to shoehorn some Yoda speak into their movie, without really thinking things through. The thought process is as transparent as a force field, and it's not terribly intelligent.
At the end of the day, we can also say "Jedi have to rely on their instincts in faster situations, like a trained athlete relies on his reflexes and trained movement patterns without applying full conscious thought, but use the force to "think" in slower situations, that would cause other people to "stop and think" as well - so it all makes perfect sense!
Except, of course, then the whole "Jedis arrive on Naboo without a plan and want to go to underwater city all of a sudden" plot suddenly loses what little (well, actually, no) sense it might've made otherwise. ;)