The Wittertainment Cinema Code of Conduct!

The Simon Mayo/Mark Kermode Radio 5 Live Film review show have compiled a code of conduct for cinema attendance (have they missed anything?):

I've broken the no eating,  no slurping, no rustling rules.    I don't know about other countries, but in America,  popcorn is a very normal thing to have at the movies and is a must for me.   I'm sure it violates the no eating rule as crunching can sometimes be heard.   As for slurping well the popcorn makes me thirsty and if I finish the soda before the popcorn . . . well . . .  I might be forced to slurp to quench my thirst.   Getting popcorn out of a bag can cause rustling.   Sorry about all that.

No Irresponsible Parenting, No Hobbies, No talking, No mobile phone usage,  I can absolutely agree with.    I think there should be anti-cell phone police stationed inside every theater.   If they catch someone using their cell phone after the movie starts,   they should be thrown out of the theater, their cell phones destroyed and they should be banned from going to the movies for life.   There is only one exception to the no cell phone rule I would make, and this if a true medical emergency was happening inside the theater and someone wanted to call 911.    

Kicking of seats.   I've done that a little, but only when there is no one in the seat in front me.    I would never do so if the seat were occupied. 

I'm sure I have gotten to a few shows late.   btw, I do not consider arriving while the previews are still playing, to be late.   When I do arrive late I try to find a seat in a way that is least disturbing to others in the theater. 

I think a did remove a shoe once.  It was only because I had really, really, really, bad itch.   I immediately put my shoe back on after scratching it. 

sorry, but even texting shouldn't be allowed.  imho.

One person's bad film might be another person's classic (everyone pays to watch) so definitely no mobile/cell phone usage (unless in emergency situations like Warb said).

I too eat at and drink in the cinema but If it's a bag I split it up on side and cup it in my hand so reducing the noise caused by fishing the contents out and I eat with my mouth shut and chew slowly.

Experience has taught me never again get drinks from the cinema (especially those oversized buckets with noisy straws in).

If it can't fit in my pocket I won't consume it and if it can I get it out before the lights go down (oh matron!).

I don't know about your country's movie theaters, but here theaters take a dim view of people smuggling in their own food and drinks.   They want you to buy everything at their snack bar.  Its how they make a lot of their money.

It's not really something a cinema can do anything about.

It's not a restaurant it's a cinema so while I'm sure they would prefer patrons to buy their nibbles from the vendors in the foyer they can't stop people from consuming anything they brought in (within reason...a recently roasted boar would probably get short shrift from the ushers as would a bag of fish and chips).

bkev said:

Yeah, but honestly Warb, who checks? If you go to the right theater they let you waltz right in. We used to take popcorn from home - and that was when you could still get a decent-sized bag for $5!

I tried a few years back and got stopped.  I was told I couldn't come inside the theater with outside food and beverages.

Bingowings said:

It's not really something a cinema can do anything about.

It's not a restaurant it's a cinema so while I'm sure they would prefer patrons to buy their nibbles from the vendors in the foyer they can't stop people from consuming anything they brought in (within reason...a recently roasted boar would probably get short shrift from the ushers as would a bag of fish and chips).

they can't stop you from consuming it, but they can keep you from coming in with it, as they did with me.   As Ferris would say, it is their property and they can keep whomever they want, off of it.

Get an overcoat and cut the bottom off the pockets.

It's amazing what you can stuff down the inside lining.

that would work during the winter, but it would look pretty suspicious in June, July and August. 

Well we don't get much of a summer round here but if we did I'd just wear the overcoat, problem solved.

around here,  we get ALOT of summer.   Temps in the upper 90's, even over 100 is not uncommon.   Yeah I suppose even here, you could just wear the overcoat and perhaps you wouldn't be too unconformable,  but you would stick out like a sore thumb.   It would look very suspicious and people would think you are crazy.   

I'd go with most, but arriving late, eating and drinking seem kind of petty.

The movies are a fun night out. If you want to enjoy art in an audience with rapt attention, go to film school or rent it.

xhonzi said:

OR goth.  Just paint your fingernails black.

I am not painting my fingernails black. 

Paint?

you know, paint.

I've walked into the AMC River East in Chicago holding a bottle of Mountain Dew in my hand and a pack of Reese's Pieces sticking out of my pocket.  No one said a word.

The question thing sounds like trying to watch Lost with my dad.  Or, come to think of it, any Harry Potter movie.

This makes me think of the Shepherd's iconic remark to Mal in the Firefly episode 'Our Mrs. Reynolds':

"If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of Hell.  A level they reserve for child molesters, and people who talk at the theatre."

doubleofive said:

Two stories:

Once in college I was at the mall with some friends to see a movie and we stopped by the food court. One of my friends wasn't finished eating, so he just took his plate of chinese food up to the ticket counter, bought tickets, got his ticket redeemed and walked into the theater with a plate of food in his hands! Blew my mind.

Last night my wife and I went to see Harry Potter. As soon as the movie starts, this teenage girl behind us starts asking questions: "who's that? What are they doing? Who's getting married? Is he going to die? What happens next?" and her mother answered every question. About 3/4 the way through, I actually said loud enough for them to hear, "the great thing about movies is that they TELL you what's going on." No help.

if it had been me, I'd have probably turned around and yelled "SHUT THE F___ UP!!!!!!!! "