The Great Frink Assassination Conspiracy Plot Alphabet Game Thread!!!

Recently, Warb proposed that somebody start a new thread "where we plot how to kill Frink." Frink liked the idea, so in response to this overwhelming demand, Akwat Kbrana Inc. proudly presents you with...this thread! The Great Frink Assassination Conspiracy Plot Alphabet Game Thread!!!

Here's how it works: rather than just randomly posting your ideas for Frink assassination, we'll make the process into a game! Each proposal must begin with the letter of the alphabet which follows the first letter of the previous proposal. For example

Flay him alive!

Give him a lethal atomic wedgie!

Heap thirteen tons of curdled tapioca on him!

See how that alphabet thing works? Pretty clever, eh?

It should go without saying that anyone who fails to follow this pre-arranged alphabetic structure, can consider him/herself on PROBATION!!!

I'll start: Asphyxiation!!

DISCLAIMER: This thread is not intended to eventuate in any actual Frink assassination, and it should be stressed that Akwat Kbrana Inc. strongly opposed any actual violence. (Except for violence toward zombies, which is a hoot and a half.) The purpose of this thread is merely to postulate how we would assassinate Frink if we were actually going to do so. Which...y'know...we aren't.

(Updated) That being said, anybody who actually assassinates Frink can consider him/herself on TRIPLE SECRET PROBATION and shall thereafter hold the title of PERMANENT ASSHAT. Now, let the comic hilarity ensue.

Beat him on the head with plastic lightsabres and throw him into Gaffer's fully grown sarlaac pit.

DISCLAIMER: This thread is not intended to eventuate in any actual Frink assassination, and it should be stressed that Akwat Kbrana Inc. strongly opposed any actual violence.

What?  Then count me out.

I don't think you can play, Frink.  That's more like suicide than murder, and suicide is just wrong and unfunny.

Oh, and Eagles.

Leguman said:

I don't dare saying what's on my mind for the Following one...

I've been wanting to say this for a long time.

PROBATION!!!

(Unlike Frink, I won't be keeping track of who is and isn't on probation in the OP; that's just way too much work. Lazy Akwat, was lazy.)

TV's Frink said:

Although I think the punishment for actual assassination is a bit light.  Shouldn't that be grounds for being put in the Permanent Asshat category?

The point is conceded. OP will be updated. If I ever get around to it.

Impale him on some particularly sharp cheddar cheese.

xhonzi him with a big knife.