Ok here it goes my suggested dialogue, Nothing new, just tried to improve what GL gave us:
ANAKIN: Padme, I saw your ship . . .
PADME: Oh, Anakin!
ANAKIN:What are you doing out here?
PADME: Obi-Wan told me terrible things... He said you have turned to the dark side . . . that you killed younglings...
ANAKIN: Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me.
PADME: He cares about us... He wants to help you
ANAKIN: (Smiles he doesn't believe her)
PADME: Anakin, You are a good person. Don't do this.
ANAKIN: I've done it for you. To protect you. I won't lose you the way I lost my mother!
PADME: Anakin, all I want is your love! Come away with me
ANAKIN: Don't you see, we don't have to run away anymore. I am more powerful than the Chancellor.I can overthrow him, and together you and I can make things the way we want them to be.
PADME: (Silence, dissapointed). . . Obi-Wan was right...
ANAKIN: I don't want to hear any more about Obi-Wan. Don't turn against me. (Here the line was "the jedi turned against me. don't you turn against me. Well there's two things about this line: the first one is when dide the Jedi turned against Anakin?? The second one is how to make a convincing "don't turn against me" considering that he actually says "don't YOU turn against me" and the accent is awful and almost seems to be a question
PADME: Anakin, you are going down a path I can't follow.
ANAKIN: Because of Obi-Wan?
PADME: Because of what you've done . . .
ANAKIN: (seeing Obi-Wan) SILENCE, TENSION
PADME: No!
ANAKIN: You're with him. You've betrayed me! ("You brought him here to kill me!"... THIS ACTUALLY GETS ERASED, ANAKIN IS KINDA SUPERB, HOW CAN the future DARTH VADER EVER CONSIDER HE CAN BE KILLED?)
PADME: NO! Anakin. I swear ... I ...
OBI-WAN: Let her go, Anakin. Let her go!
ANAKIN: You turned her against me. You will not take her from me.
OBI-WAN: You've done that yourself . You have allowed this Dark Lord to twist your mind until now . . . until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.
ANAKIN: Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan. (I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do...WTF IS THIS, ERASED). I have brought peace, and security to my new Empire (JUSTICE, FREEDOM? ERASED ANAKIN KNOWS THAT WHAT HE'S DONE'S A SHIT, he isn't even darth vader yet. about this I can give my point in another message if necessary)
Loved the voice change for Anakin, and the changes you've already done to the scene, like erasing the "democracy" yell and stuff, and BTW, sorry for such a large post guys