Hmmmmmmmm...
1. The shot of Anakin showing some conflict is too late, it's almost like he's conflicted about having to kill Nute Gunray. Right after the compartment opens, there should be a close-up of the saber, and a shot of Anakin looking at it conflicted.
2. The blade across Palpatine's face makes no sense, the position is too weird. Maybe just have the sound of the saber igniting. After seeing Anakin's reaction to the saber the way it would be in suggestion 1, it'd be clear what's being heard.