It is hard to say where I would trim. I like and don't like the personal tone of the article. If readers detected sarcasm, it might both rally the like-minded, but may turn off the reader that is on the fence of the issue. Just my 2 cents.
And 1-3 examples of the audio errors is confusing. You do list three things, but they are lumped together. You ought to separate them more or just list them under 1.