I agree. Without the rest of the Starkiller Ranch prequels, the 3PO change may not work. This edit should be able to work as a stand-alone edit. And Jar Jar's new accent still can't hide the inherent goofiness in his movements. So let's just have less of him.
My only other suggestion for what needs improvement is the use of Dune footage during the battle. It stood out too much for me.