Just seen your clip - looks good, I havnt seen the original movie for a while so all i noticed was the rancor had been cut out, but will watch it again for the changes mentioned above - cutting the rancor is good and looked like a seamless cut. I wouldnt miss the rancor scene at all...

On the other hand, I would say be even more drastic with the cuts - I think much more could be removed from the palace scene - how would it look if you removed everything from the droids entering the palace untill Luke enters.

ie....cut from Darth vaders arrival at the death star to Lukes arrival at Jabbas Palace. Wouldnt that make it more mysterious and a darker Tone?

i havnt looked to see if it would work tho.

Anyway just my thoughts, will enjoy following your work.