xhonzi said:

TheBoost said:

Saw "Pandorum"

Load of POOP. Interesting sci-fi horror premise.

Then out come the low-budget LOTR orcs moving in weird frame-rates so that the audience knows they're supposed to be scary.

Throw in nonspeaking Asian farmer so that he can have an 8 minute kung-fu fight with one of the space-orcs and a couple really predictable twists and you have a film that's biggest virtue was that it was relatively short.

Hmm... we'll agree to disagree here. I really liked Pandorum. Could you apply your synopsis to the original Alien movie? It seemed to work for that one.

It comes to that (IMHO of course) Alien was scary.

The Orcs in Pandorum were comical. In fact, the bad 28 Days Later jitter-frame that the film did when they were on screen made them even sillier. And that one line of technobabble they spit out to explain the Orcs was great: "We had drugs pumped into us to help us adapt to our new planet, but there guys adapted to living in a spaceship by becoming parkour athletes and looking like a bad Hellraiser fan-film! Oh yeah, and spikes out their backs."

If the Nostromo had some random Asian guy on it that had a karate fight with the Alien, I'd say that was crappy too.

I think this film had a fascinating premise: Waking up, no memories, where are we? Those goofy monsters and the kung-fu Korean-farmer just killed it for me.

The thing is, what if they HADN'T been orcs? What if the humans had survived being crazy scavenging cannibals for 800 years. Those would be some degraded SCARY FUCKING PEOPLE, and I wouldn't need shoulder-spikes and "The Ring" jerky movements to remind me they're scary.