Computer users are advised to be aware of a number of new viruses that have popped up since the start of the world cup.
The John Terry virus: Your computer hooks up with other computers without you knowing
The Rob Green virus: Your computer doesn't save anything
The Wayne Rooney virus: This one's particularly ugly
The Emile Heskey virus: Some think this one is really dangerous, but it actually does fuck all
The Christiano Ronaldo virus: Your computer appears to go down, but seconds later its back up and running
The Ashley Cole virus: All drive privileges are lost
Why the fuck didn't John Terry shag Rob Green's girlfriend?
The gay community have decided to make Robert Green a gay icon, after all any man that can gently palm and caress balls like that is what they call... a keeper.
What's the difference between a cold and a football?
Rob Green can catch a cold.
All these Rob Green jokes are getting out of hand.
In fact, they're crossing the line...
Australia have launched a new beer to commemorate their participation in the 2010 world cup.
Castlemaine 4 nil.
Capello goes into the changing room after the match and sees a steaming turd on the shower floor. Naturally he kicks off, ripping into the players: "Ooo ees shit on the floor?"
Finally, reluctantly, Heskey holds his hand up. "I am, boss, but I'm good in the air......."
I've bought one of those extra widescreen TVs for the World Cup so I can see the ball after an Emile Heskey shot.
5,000 American soccer fans are still at the stadium in Rustenburg waiting for 3rd quarter to start.