xhonzi said:
xhonzi said:
Being polite, if you think about it, always is some kind of charade. It's some kind of lie, right? It's dishonest, as you said. Bold faced honesty is not something we value much in society.
Boost, I was disappointed you never commented on my claim above. Care to now?
A day late and a dollar short but I'll give it a shot.
It seems to me that being polite is an agreed apon framework of behavior that people of differing moods, backgrounds, and attitudes can share to make interaction easier and more pleasent. Sometimes we know someone doesn't give a damn if we have a 'good morning' or not, but that they're "just being polite" because poiteness exists for people we NEED to interact with, not that we want to. From the Greek "Polis" meaning city, because people in the city needed to interact and get along in fundamentally different ways than agrarian peoples.
At my cousin's wedding last month (she's a Born Again Fundy) another guest came up to me and said, "I sure could feel the Holy Spirit moving in that room. It really brought those two together." This dude and I share the framework of behavior for Basic Politeness, so I responded with a noncommital "Aint that something."
But since he and I don't share a basic framework for how the Universe fuctions, he might as well have been saying "The CIA controls my brain through my dental fillings."
Politeness is something both parties have to tacitly agree to. And while it does include a great deal of NOT acting on certain opinions (I despise at least two of my coworkers and have never mentioned it), I don't think it's fair to call politeness dishonest, since these codes of behavior are kind of an agreement between people at large (which is not to say someone cannot be both polite and dishonest while being polite. I think many people confuse feigned friendship with politeness).
If politeness involves ignoring people's religions the same way it involves not telling a coworker how much you hate their pants, so be it. It greases the wheels of social interaction.
My key issue has always been with "respect" as a term, which seems to carry with it a kind of esteem. I much prefer the term "tolerate" or my personal favorite "ignore."
I can't respect the belief that "crystals have healing powers" even if it would be impolite in most cases to say, "I think you're crazy or stupid or both" to someone who said it.