I could have done with an OCP Robotraincop on my way back home t'other day.

I reserved a seat in the quiet carriage (signs everywhere asking people to keep quiet and turn the mobiles and MP3's off).

The number of people ignoring these signs was staggering and most of the people ticking off offenders were elderly book readers so when some guy started shouting down his mobile (almost to the point where a cell phone would no longer be necessary) I politely asked the guy to take his next call in the vestibule of the next carriage pointing out the signs.

The guy was clearly drunk and gave me some of the shouty treatment but piped down and did as I asked for the rest of the journey (he later thumped me on the shoulder to get my attention so he could make a loud apology).

Right next to him was a whole table of people who found the whole experience of traveling by train so amusing they were in fits of very loud laughter from Newcastle to Edinburgh.

By this time I thought I had already done my bit for the hive and just quietly steamed in fury.