Wow, that is pretty funny. I am going to refrain from asking your age at great self restrain, and try to help you as best I can. ;)
Where is the wax at in the pipe? Is it just in the bowl? Or did it makes its way into the stem? A lot of pipes have removable stems, if this is the case with your dad's pipe, I'd take the stem out. You could probably run the stem under hot water and get the wax to losen up, and maybe find something to run through the stem to use to floss it out. If the wax is in the bowl and the neck, it ought to be easy enough to use some object to scrape the wax out. If you need to loosen the wax up a bit, a hair dryer would do the trick (hair dryers work great for getting wax out of the carpet too).