Press Conference Thread

I'm holding a press conference right here in this thread. Please state your name and group affiliation when asking a question of me so that everyone else in the press pool can cite properly when writing the story.

You there - second row, "Phish" t-shirt. You have a question?

Yes, um... I don't want to vote for Palpatine.  Is that okay?

Please state your name and group affiliation when asking a question of me

Are you a freelance journalist, sir? For whom do you write?

Yes, um... I don't want to vote for Palpatine.  Is that okay?

Works for me. And to represent all points of view on the ballot box, we've got an opponent on the ballot you may vote for. His name is "Sidious".

Did you have a follow-up?

What do you plan to do regarding the taxation of trade routes to outlying systems? The growing Separatist movement led by the nefarious Count Dooku? How about garbage collection on Coruscant? Some guy ended up throwing his garbage out his window and it almost caused my speeder to crash!

1) For whom do you write?

2) Try not to blurt out questions before I get to you. I was still answering the first question.

On to your questions:

A) Is taxation too difficult to deal with? Hey, those hyperspace routes don't maintain themselves. B) I would love to deal with the separatist movement *sigh* if only we had a military. C) The best thing to do with garbage is: pitch it right out the window. The mouth-breathing simpletons in the lower levels of Coruscant could use the extra currency...wait a second. It hit your speeder? If that happened, you must live in...well, when I said "mouth-breathing simpletons", of course I didn't mean you. I meant all of those people you live next to.

Next question, guy in front row who apparently used to play goalie for the darts team?

I have not - repeat NOT - been pimping them out to anyone.

Such naked activism by a member of the fourth estate - that supposedly impartial body. I'm appalled.

But I'll allow the question. There is nothing improper about my fatherly advice to a young boy in need of a little guidance. And like all good fathers, I occasionally need to take the lad's temperature and bathe him, is that so wrong?

(Heavy breathing)

My Master! So...you have not yet fixed the latte machine. If you will not fix it...then perhaps I will...Nooooooooah! I have burned myself-again!

Ric Olie with the Naboobian News Tribune Post Times.

Could you please address the rumor that you have been bathing Anakin Skywalker and pimping him out to horny pilots...er...rather...horny politicians?

I only bathe him and, as stated before, occasionally take the lad's temperature. The worrywarts in Coruscant's CPS department get skittish with me simply because I insist on accuracy, and oral thermometers are rather scattershot with their readings.

My Master! So...you have not yet fixed the latte machine. If you will not fix it...then perhaps I will...Nooooooooah! I have burned myself-again!

Lord Vader...I don't understand how you drink anything in the first place, let alone an espresso drink. Last thing you need is something to put you on edge.

Warbler again with the Yavin Weekly.  Could you please tell us about order 66?

You again? I thought my Crimson Guard showed you out! Very well. But you shouldn't go asking questions for which there are perfectly obvious answers. The popular children's holo-show, Palpatine Street, did a wonderful musical number explaining how Order 66 works and why it was necessary.

If you insist, I will reproduce the song. And then you will be covering the police beat on Kessel for the rest of your life. Think it over.

Warbler, with Yavin Weekly again.    Any truth to the rumor that you are in reality an evil Sith Lord hellbent on conquering the galaxy?

Of course it's nothing more than idle rumor. I'm neither evil nor hellbent.

Warbler, with Yavin Weekly yet again with a follow up.  So you admit you are a Sith?

Isn't it true that you are running the Trade Federation, that you are playing the Republic and the Trade Federation against each in an effort to gain more power?

Sith? Not a Sith? What do we make of labels? This is the state of galactic politics today - just a bunch of labels no one pays attention to.

The Trade Federation is an avaricious, contemptible pack of greedy mongrels; I don't even know Nute Gunray.

Ric Olie with the Naboobian News Tribune Post Times, follow up question:

Ewwwww?

I'm sorry, I need a translator. I don't recognize the dialect.

VFP! VPN!

xhonzi with the Gungan Mungan!

Mesa so worried that yousa gonna be gettin' us in troooouublblblblblblE!!!!

Also, mesa wonderin'.. Isa youse Palpatineey hisself?  Or besa you one-sa Palpatineey's PR dumdums?

Where is the mocha syrup? I wanted a machiato, but noooooah-I've burned myself again...so Master do we have any eggs left? I wanted to bake a cake, but...oh sorry to intrude on the conference........just going..to ..slip..out..now...strangle...some...unimportant....person...or..persons..to...feel..better..about...myself...