ben_danger, that clip is amazing! It's actual character development for Anakin too, he has taken his final step in becoming Darth Vader and fully embraced the Dark Side.
The only thing I don't see working with this new dialogue is Vader asking about Padme. If he doesn't care about his old self anymore, I don't think he should care about his old life anymore. But that might be better, cause that would allow for the removal of that terrible "NoooOOOooooo" *shudders*