Round Two: Fight!

Porkins

The portly X-wing pilot would be no match to the man who can hold off an entire colony of sandpeople with one blaster. I can already smell the bacon.

"He died about the same time as your father."

The Bespin Ice Cream Man

This may look like the match of the decade, but the man who's only friend is vanilla will be too busy thinking about sprinkles to put up a good fight. Owen will throw sand in his eyes with his left hand and break his nose with his right.

"All right, shut up".

Bib Fortuna

Sure the red eyes are scary, but Mr. Fortuna is pasty-white, has manicured fingernails and is named after something you put on a baby to keep it clean when it spits up on itself. And could Bib grow an awesome beard like Owen has? Not in a million years. Owen will rip off his shirt and flex his guns while Bib runs off with his head-tails between his legs.

"You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done".