Bingowings said:

G E Predator said:

Before I render the video, I want to you show you some re-working on the crawl:

The rebellion stands on the verge
of destruction. The GALACTIC
EMPIRE is secretly constructing
a new armored space station
even more powerful than the first
dreaded Death Star.

As the alliance regroups in preparation
for the ultimate offensive against
the evil Empire, Han Solo remains a
prisoner of the vile gangster, Jabba the Hutt.

While Luke Skywalker remains
on Dagobah to complete his
Jedi training, a desperate Princess
Leia rallies together an impetuous
plan to save the man that
she loves. . . .

All of the changes that I made are in bold. I felt that the third paragraph need some work since it should update the audience on what is going one right now.

Let me know what you think. If it's acceptable, I'll go ahead and render the video.

I'd remove one of the "remains", and "plan to save the man she loves" (which reads more like an advert for chocolate or diamonds than a Star Wars crawl) and change "prisoner" to "captive" (Han isn't in prison but he has been captured).

Okay, how about this?

The rebellion stands on the verge
of destruction. The GALACTIC
EMPIRE is secretly constructing
a new armored space station
even more powerful than the first
dreaded Death Star.

As the alliance regroups in preparation
for the ultimate offensive against
the evil Empire, Han Solo remains a
captive of the vile gangster, Jabba the Hutt.

While Luke Skywalker returns
on Dagobah to complete his
Jedi training, a desperate Princess
Leia rallies together an impetuous
rescue mission on Tatooine. . . . .