Bingowings said:
Luke's Photon Torpedo fertilizes the Death Star (really a giant techno egg) and it grows into an enormous robot baby which crawls around the universe looking for his daddy.

Or have it turn the Death Star into Mega Maid, which then begins to suck out all of Yavin 4's air. That or it turns into the Space Baby from 2001, with Peter Cushing's face morphed onto the baby's face). Darth Vader could be sent through the 2001 time portal, leading him on many great adventures. And of course, this all happens AFTER the Death Star gets the shot off (ala the DS has a few more seconds on top of the STAR WARS: REVISITED edit) and blows up Yavin 4, leaving Han, Luke, Wedge and mysterious unknown Y-wing pilot as the only ones left of the rebellion.

When EMPIRE starts up, everything starts as normal like all good TV shows. In fact, the EMPIRE beginning titles could offer some really hare brained explanations as to how Leia, R2, C3P0 and others escaped.

Hell, you could do a MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL with the opening scrolls, maybe even have someone reading it or reading a DIFFERENT scroll than the one rolling on screen.

And in regards to Alderaan, you can replace the planet explosion with something out of HARDWARE WARS, or something appropriately 70's Italian space cheese (paper mache planet on a string, blows up in spectacular normal speed, falls quickly down with smoke lingering in front of the space background). Still keep most of the great FX, but randomly replace some shots with bad ones to throw the audience off - since it would bounce from competent to insanely bad and back again. In fact, you could take the "Falcon escapes from 4 TIE fighters" scene and have every other scene replaced with shots from THIS ISLAND EARTH or the STARKILLER clips from THE GOONIES (or go straight to the source: MESSAGE FROM SPACE and WAR OF THE ROBOTS. Hell, you could edit in some of the blonde wigged robots from WOTR into the detention block scene, to depict them fighting along side the stormtroopers).

Hell, what would it take to make an edit combining as many of the STAR WARS rip offs INTO STAR WARS to make one big mega epic that makes no sense whatsoever? But what could be cooler than having Sonny Chiba, Harrison Ford, Vic Morrow, maybe even Robert Vaughn (from BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS) all in the same movie?