When asked when ESB:R would be released
Adywan hollered,
You'll be the first to know."
Ooo-hooo no news

I've learned to do the laundry
Feed the cat and clean the house
I promised to be patient
While he worked his problems out
When he packed his bags
His destination was unclear
But I sensed that his intentions
Were honest and sincere
Ooo-hooo no news

(Chorus)
He could telephone, tell a friend
Tell a lie about where he's been
Send a pigeon, send a fax
Write it on a postal pack
Send a signal up in smoke
Tap it out in morse code
I'd prefer a bad excuse

To no news

His mum's been a little vauge
As to his whereabouts
His sister says, "I'm certain
Your romance is headed south."
I don't have a single doubt
That he's still in love
My level of anxiety
Is just a product of
Ooo-hooo no news

(Repeat chorus)

he missed his bus, missed his plane
Surely, this can be explained
Lost his car at the mall
Got lost in a bathroom stall
Joined a cult, joined the Klan
On the road with Pearl Jam
Buried with the Grateful Dead
Came back as a parrot head
Got derailed, got de-iced
Offered as a sacrifice
FBI, CIA, if they've seen him
They ain't saying
No news! Still no news!