I think saving Padme's life being Anakin's rationale for turning to the dark side needs to be cut completely.

Either cut the dream, or replace it with a more symbolic dream sequence, and don't have Anakin mention the dream to her or promise that he can save her (Luke never talked about his vision in the cave; we just saw it, and that worked just fine)

Also get rid of all Palpatine's promises about saving her. Just keep the parts of him seducing Anakin with promises of power.

After Anakin tells Windu about palpatine being a sith, and he's in the Jedi council chamber, and you hear the echoing voice of palpatine saying "any chance of saving her will be lost" etc. Replace that with sound bytes of his senior jedi masters being critical/holding him back/saying things that hint at dishonesty, interspersed with palpatine's promises of power.

When he then rushes to stop Windu, it is clear then that it is his distrust of the Jedi, along with the promise of power that's seducing him. It's not perfect, but it's better than "I'm making a conscious decision to turn to the dark side to save my girlfriend"