The Prequel Radical Redux Ideas Thread — Page 38

The crawl doesn't say the Republic has ended it says the golden age has ended (the optimism and positive wave that formed it has broken).

What's at stake is the Republic itself but I suppose it can do no harm to suggest there is a small glimmer of hope it might be averted and reversed.

The code of Knighthood line is a simplification because it explains what the code is and that the Jedi are knights so I would prefer to keep it and lose the Knight at the end of Jedi.

Making an edit where the Federation are invading from outside the Republic is radical but it begs the question why don't the Republic respond en masse against these exterior invaders (unless Naboo is outside the Republic too in which case why do they respond at all)? It could make for an interesting reworking so suggestions on how that might play out would be a grand addition to the collection of ideas up for grabs on this thread.

For me it makes more sense if the Federation is the financial arm of a member state attacking the sovereignty of another member state. Adjusting every spoken reference to the Trade Federation in a realistic fashion would be difficult but someone might be able to do it.

However the text is there for anyone to play with and if you want to shift the words around in anyway to you own needs and ideas please do.

Incorporating some (but not all for the reasons I just described) of your ideas with the changes I made in response to ChainsawAsh's comments here's a new draught (the four dots no longer hang too):

A thousand generations since the defeat of the SITH LORDS and the golden age of the REPUBLIC is coming to an end.
Centuries of peace and justice have led to indolence and hesitation.

Ancient feuds and resentments fester unresolved in the senate, slavery and oppression sweep worlds beyond the Republlic's control. Bound by galactic law and the strictures of their code of knighthood the JEDI are powerless to intervene.

Taking advantage of these turbulent times the TRADE FEDERATION of Neimoidia has directed it’s fleet to the contested world of Naboo. Aided by sinister new allies....
 

My attempt at a new opening crawl. I'm sort of trying to explain exactly what the Sith and Jedi are in as concise a way as possible, and still have time to set the scene...

STAR WARS:


Thousands of years after the Jedi Knights, ancient guardians

of peace and justice in the galaxy, defeated their dark kin,

the Sith Order, conflict now shrouds the Galactic Republic.

A coalition of greedy warlords, calling itself the GALACTIC FEDERATION,

has mysteriously emerged and conquered defenceless

planets outside the protection of the Republic.


Now, in a daring move, the Federation has

surrounded the peaceful Republic world of Alderaan with a blockade of

deadly warships and presses the idealistic young leader, Padmé Amidala,

to submit to their tyranny.


Hoping to avoid the ever rising threat of

war, the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic

has dispatched two Jedi Knights to negotiate with the Federation.

Though seemingly a conflict of civilisations, ancient rivalries are stirred and some more

insidious evil than greed secretly inspires the enemies of the Galactic Republic ....

JediMasterFisher said:

JasonN said:

JediMasterFisher said:

That youtube reviewer knows nothing about the story of Star Wars. He says the Jedi were bad because they did not lead an army to free the slaves. Doesnt he realize that would start a war with the Hutt clans and that wouldnt be good.

How could he?
Apart from seeing Jabba in the first 1/3 of RotJ (oh, and that bullsh*t scene in the SW Special Edition), the Hutts play absolutely NO purpose to the story of the six SW films, so why would the reviewer (or for that matter, the majority of the audiences who saw these movies) have any knowledge of that "Hutt war" concept???

I dont see how its hard to understand that it would cause a war with the people (or creatures) in power on Tatooine. I was about 9 when I first saw TPM (and had never seen a star wars film before) and I understood that concept perfectly.

 

The dialogue states clearly that Tatooine is run by the Hutts who are gangsters and that Tatooine isn't a member of the Republic.

What it doesn't explain is why the Jedi can't just do as they please anyway.

Their temple is on Coruscant, they have ties to the Senate and the Chancellor's office so it seems safe to assume they are a Republic based order and bound by it's laws as well as those of their order.

Making that clear in the crawl would remove that ambiquity.

Clearly when the Empire took over it also expanded to include Tatooine (which is why stormtroopers on the streets of Mos Eisley didn't provoke any local trouble) but back in the days of the Republic the Jedi didn't have jurisdiction.

This could lead people like Dooku into taking his own path due to frustration over what they couldn't do.

You mean Qui-Gon taking his own path. :p

shanerjedi said:

You mean Qui-Gon taking his own path. :p

Qui-Gon doesn't take his own path Dooku does all Qui-Gon does is disagree but he doesn't act on it (other than putting his foot down over training Anakin, something the Council on agrees on when he has died).

That was kidding based on your earlier suggestion that maybe Qui-Gon could replace Dooku.

shanerjedi said:

That was kidding based on your earlier suggestion that maybe Qui-Gon could replace Dooku.

"Meesa follow you now okiday."  

One PT thing that kind of ruins the OT to me is the "where is Padme?/ I think you killed her" part. Cause now every time Vader is saying something like "You don't know how powerful the dark side is." or anything like that, I'm thinking "Yeah, right, the power that made you kill the one you loved and the mother of your childrens..."

So in order to correct (a bit) this issue, I think that if we could find a way to have the Emperor saying "Obi-wan left her for dead. I burried her." (or a better line in that spirit). It would appears less bizzare that Vader stays with the emperor at the end. Cause his anger would be more focus on Obi-wan than toward himself and Palpatine. (I think I should/could have done that in my silent edit...shit!).

It would work better in the silent edits because you wouldn't have to match the dialogue and Vader's calm (all be it lethal) reunion with Obi-Wan in ANH (which already doesn't fit seeing the manner of Vader's near death) would also fit better in a silent film.

In any other way I can't see how you could pull that off TMBTM.

Maybe someone else out there can?

Maybe just an "Obi-Wan killed her" line can be done with mixing some Palpatine's lines and used on one of the shots of Vader (emperor as voice over), hope I make myself clear...! ;\

But it would be hard to believe, even for Anakin, that Obi-Wan killed a pregnant woman... God it's tricky...

And maybe pointless if we can find a more radical change for the end of ROTS.

I had an idea on how to make Count Dooku seem more menacing since he is the nicest bad guy ever. In the arena where he talks to the jedi, we could replace his audio with the auido from two towers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNNqc4pdbNA

Not word for word, but most of this would be a nice addition.

" A new power is rising, it's victory is at hand"

"To War"

"Leave none alive"

If someone is creative enough the can even steal the line

"There will be no dawn for  men jedi or the republic

"The land will be stained with the blood of rohan the jedi"

" The

SomethingStarWarsRelated said:

BarBar Jinkx said:

Yeah I think we are really onto something with the "don't tell padme" bit

 

 Yeah, especially since there is some truly terrible dialouge in this scene.

"I will even learn people to stop from dying!" What? Was that an actual sentence? ;)

 

I'm wondering...did you guys like the Palpatine dialouge in my altered scene?

I don't mind him saying that so much because he has become unhinged by grief (even the most sane person can utter utter nonsense like that when faced with an emotional crisis, especially one that the Jedi way of life hasn't prepared him for).

In the context of Palpatine seeing this instead of Padme it would be just the thing he'd want to hear.

I can just imagine his mental mechanism digesting this (great! the boy goes postal when his loved ones die and his ambitions border on barking bonkers...I really must sign this guy up).

on the, what does the emperor say to darth vader about padme subject

what if we are looking at this the wrong way? if we have padme survivng, but with the belief that anakin is dead, we could look at a reason why vader would not want to see her. perhaps he is too ashamed by his new appearance to see her, and decides to go on without her. something could go along these lines

EMPEROR   "the damage you have sustained is irepairable lord vader"

VADER      "padme must not see me this way"

EMPEROR   "trust the dark side my young apprentice, maybe together we can find a way to reverse your wounds"

VADER      "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"

well maybe not that way, but i think you get what i mean.

update of my aoct reloaded project, i am on tatooine at the moment and i've color corrected these scenes so they look more like the ot

Monroville said:

Bingowings said:

The crawl doesn't say the Republic has ended it says the golden age has ended (the optimism and positive wave that formed it has broken).

What's at stake is the Republic itself but I suppose it can do no harm to suggest there is a small glimmer of hope it might be averted and reversed.

The code of Knighthood line is a simplification because it explains what the code is and that the Jedi are knights so I would prefer to keep it and lose the Knight at the end of Jedi.

Making an edit where the Federation are invading from outside the Republic is radical but it begs the question why don't the Republic respond en masse against these exterior invaders (unless Naboo is outside the Republic too in which case why do they respond at all)? It could make for an interesting reworking so suggestions on how that might play out would be a grand addition to the collection of ideas up for grabs on this thread.

For me it makes more sense if the Federation is the financial arm of a member state attacking the sovereignty of another member state. Adjusting every spoken reference to the Trade Federation in a realistic fashion would be difficult but someone might be able to do it.

However the text is there for anyone to play with and if you want to shift the words around in anyway to you own needs and ideas please do.

Incorporating some (but not all for the reasons I just described) of your ideas with the changes I made in response to ChainsawAsh's comments here's a new draught (the four dots no longer hang too):

A thousand generations since the defeat of the SITH LORDS and the golden age of the REPUBLIC is coming to an end.
Centuries of peace and justice have led to indolence and hesitation.

Ancient feuds and resentments fester unresolved in the senate, slavery and oppression sweep worlds beyond the Republlic's control. Bound by galactic law and the strictures of their code of knighthood the JEDI are powerless to intervene.

Taking advantage of these turbulent times the TRADE FEDERATION of Neimoidia has directed it’s fleet to the contested world of Naboo. Aided by sinister new allies....
 

Well, in that regards, we've seen that in our own history.  Hell, didn't you see 300?!  Didn't you have a large foreign invasion that the Spartan politicians did NOT want to fight?  Isn't Europe monkey wrenching the whole war on terror?  Didn't we see Europe do the same thing before World War 2?  And what about the Gondorians in LORD OF THE RINGS?

So there is plenty of precedent for an empire/republic/democracy to ignore the 8,000 pound army of gorillas approaching on the horizon.

 

None of those situations represent the scenerio you were laying out (not that there's anything wrong with that scenerio but to get it to work would require solutions and this is the place for trying to hammer those out) in fact only one of them is a real world scenerio (Lord Of The Rings, naturally).

300 has as little to do with the real world as Excalibur (both visually stunning but hardly historically accurate).

Europe is not a nation state or a Federal state, not then and not now (and don't get me started on the so called War On Terror, only the Emperor of idiots would declare war on an emotional state).

If Mexico invaded Texas the whole of the USA would go to war.

That's a state from the outside invading a state within a larger state (like the model you were proposing).

If Texas invaded Oklahoma that would be an internal war within a Federal state (more like the model I'm proposing) and if there was a weak leader in the White House and communications were difficult it may involve a bit of investigation before sending in the troops (especially seeing as it seems so difficult to believe, I like Howard Keal as much as the next guy but invasion...is that lee'gal?).

Maybe because of some secret the planet holds? Maybe?