shanerjedi said:I just dont like the idea that the jedi would sit by and allow slavery because of ancient law.
Maybe Qui-Gon goes against this?
Okay, so if you tied slavery and those suggestions into the story, and Naboo, then you could have Qui-Gon going against the will of the council and fighting to free Naboo......and the labour force the populace represents
As you know I'm all ears when it comes to radical ideas but how would you go about changing the story so Qui-Gon can be seen to be and go against those rules?
We know that Qui-Gon often is often defiant of the council (which is why he isn't on it and unlike older Anakin that doesn't matter to him one bit) but how could it be shown?
It's a shame really that Qui-Gon was killed, imagine if Dooku's part in the story was replaced with Qui-Gon (Mmm....How could that be done?).
ChainsawAsh said:I think the first paragraph needs to be longer - it just looks ... weird as one short sentence.
But I really like where it's going so far.
I've shifted the words around a bit to make the paragraphs roughly the same length (though they are all long single sentences, minus the last one which is one long sentences and one very short one).
A thousand generations since the defeat of the SITH LORDS and the golden age of the REPUBLIC is at an end.
Centuries of peace and justice have led to indolence and hesitation as ancient feuds and resentments fester unresolved in the senate.
Bound by galactic law and the strictures of their code of knighthood the JEDI are powerless to intervene as slavery and oppression sweep worlds beyond Republican control.
Taking advantage of these turbulent times the TRADE FEDERATION of Neimoidia has directed it’s fleet to the contested world of Naboo. Aided by sinister new allies....
SomethingStarWarsRelated said:Here's my early version:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4cCQrlxAfw
My thoughts are it should be left ambiguous as to wether Anakin told Palps or not...we then find out in ROTS that he in fact DID.
Great work there it's almost as if Palpatine's hologram is fulfilling the same role for Anakin that Ben's ghost did for Luke.