vaderios said:I can give invitations.
Who wants PM me
-Angel
Seconded. I won't, however, give invitations to everyone - I've still got to cover my ass so I don't get kicked out. So if you send me a PM about it and I say no, don't take it personally.
I haven't seen these yet, but in concealing the emperor's identity you did remember to remove the music that plays didn't you? Sometimes the emperor's theme (from ROTJ) plays when he is talking and that would give it away.
Possessed said:I haven't seen these yet, but in concealing the emperor's identity you did remember to remove the music that plays didn't you? Sometimes the emperor's theme (from ROTJ) plays when he is talking and that would give it away.
I think that's a small issue. Especially if you watch them in numercial order. If you watched them the way it was intended then by the time you connect the music to a character it no longer matters.
Star Wars: The Black Knight Rises, the 3rd and final fanedit of my SW Prequel trilogy, is now available as a 900mb AVI version at linktalk.
Sweet! I finished the first two yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed them, JasonN. If I have time, I'll write up reviews of all three after I've had a chance to watch the latest installment. :)
Every 27th customer will get a ball-peen hammer, free!
I just finished watching all 3 of your fanedits.
Let me preface this by saying that your A.I. fanedit has not only become one of my favorite fanedits ever, it's become one of the few that I put on my shelf as if it were originally made that way. I've shown it to friends and they love it as well.
Your prequel edits are nearly as good. In concept and story, they're all absolutely fantastic. I love that you got rid of Leia (makes my planned ROTJ fan edit easier, even though I was doing that with the intention that the prequels just didn't exist), I love that you made the love story believable, and I love that you made Anakin's turn believable.
I also love that you made me enjoy Episode II for the first time ever. I've never seen a version of Episode II that I've enjoyed. Ever. You trimmed all the bullshit out, and the film is much better for it.
One change in particular I'm very happy with: Count Dooku. In your edit, he's ostensibly the villain, but in the reality of the situation, he's actually right. He's the good guy, and if he'd been allowed to win, the civil war never would have happened. But Palpatine is so damn good at twisting everyone against each other until they destroy themselves that no one sees this until it's far, far too late.
As I watched the edits, I made a list for each film as far as my suggestions for improvements between now and the DVD stage. Some of them you might not be able to fix, some you might not feel the need to, but these are the only things that prevent me from forgetting that I'm watching a fanedit the way your A.I. edit did.
Star Wars Episode I: Attack of the Federation
Notes and Suggestions
- The crawl proper seems to start too late. I'd suggest modeling the timing of the crawl after Ady's REVISITED crawl, since after the "Episode" tags were added, the timing was screwed up - Ady fixed it to match the pre-ANH crawl, while retaining the "Episode" title. Also, not too sure about the blue coloring, but that's not a big deal and other than the timing it looks fine.
- 8:05ish - harsh music transition between invasion scenes and Queen's palace
- The music at the starting line before the podrace feels a little awkwardly edited
- At around 1:14:50 or so, there's a harsh music transition between the ship landing and the meeting in the forest.
- In order to make the Gungans' speech patterns more understandable, I suggest that (using a mashup of foreign dialogue tracks) you make dialogue between Gungans that isn't meant to be understood by humans ("Jar Jar, who are these others?" or whatever he says there, for instance, or the entire battle sequence) be spoken in their language with subtitles. Just a suggestion, but it would IMO make more sense.
- 1:37:55 - jump in the music when it cuts from Qui-Gon's funeral pyre to a shot of Padme, Palpatine and Jar Jar
- In the celebration, there's a shot of Ani smiling at Padme, then a shot of Obi-Wan, then a shot of Padme smiling back at Ani. I'd swap the shot of Padme smiling and the shot of Obi-Wan.
Star Wars Episode II: Twilight of the Republic
Notes and Suggestions
- The timing of the opening Fox/Lucasfilm logos seems off to me.
- The crawl proper starts WAY too late - there's actually empty space between the STAR WARS logo and "Episode II," which there shouldn't be - the crawl itself should start before the STAR WARS logo disappears. See my Episode I note about the crawl.
- Typos in the crawl: "has lead to" should be "has led to." I'd also change "Senator of the Galactic Senate" to "Senator in the Galactic Senate," and add an "of" between "capital" and "Coruscant."
- Good job getting rid of the "changeling" aspect of Zam, but there's a shot during the chase when Anakin falls on the speeder - she looks up at him and her face shifts to look like she does when she dies. If you could remove that, it'd be great.
- 34:06 - The transition between the kiss and Obi-Wan on Kamino is VERY harsh. I don't really have a suggestion for improvement, but still ...
- "Brave, but foolish, my old Jedi friend" is out of sync with the video
- 1:17:46 - harsh music edit after Dooku's ship enters the cave or whatever it is
Star Wars Episode III: The Black Knight Rises
Notes and Suggestions
- The crawl proper starts WAY too late. See my Episode II note about the crawl.
- Typos in the crawl: "have past" should be "have passed." Also, "the rebel Count Dooku and his Droid Army has swept" should be "have swept." I'd also add an "of" before "CORUSCANT."
- There are some slightly awkward music transitions throughout the film, but not really bad enough to point out individually
Well, that's what I've got for you. Thank you for these amazing edits - easily the best PT edits I've seen to this point!
ChainsawAsh's review sound promising enough to me. Can someone PM me about Demonoid invites and where to locate these edits?
ChainSawAsh beat me to it. Regardless, here's my review.
Overall: Yours are without a doubt the best PT fanedits I've seen thus far. I thoroughly enjoyed them, and some of your more "radical" changes lent the whole trilogy a freshness it's not had for years. Kudos, sir.
Things I loved: Blue title & crawls: good stuff. Purple sabers for Mace, Dooku, and Yoda: brilliantly conceived and executed. This made Mace's saber seem less out-of place, thus eradicated the "huh??" reaction that most of us have when seeing one (and only one) purple saber in the whole galaxy. Now, purple saber = uber elite jedi. Much better. Overall dialogue trimming and silliness removal: this is, of course, the principle motivation behind most fanedits of the PT, and you pulled yours off very convincingly. Most of your cuts were very seamless and undetectable, moreso than most of the other PT edits I've seen. No more battle droid voices: vast improvement. Thanks.
Things I wasn't crazy about:
-There were a few specific scenes cut to the detriment of plot flow, which I'll mention in more detail below. Furthermore, I felt like there were one or two lines of dialogue that could've been cut, but weren't. Pretty minor complaints, overall.
-There were a few typos in the opening crawl that ChainSawAsh has already pointed out.
-In all three episodes, I concur with ChainSawAsh that there's a conspicuously long pause between the recession of the Star Wars logo and the inception of the opening crawls. Could the crawl start sooner?
-Finally, though you've done a valiant job of salvaging the train-wreck that is the PT, it's still the PT...it seems that, however this turd is polished, it'll never gleam as brilliantly as a properly written, shot, and directed PT would've. Not your fault; there's simply not enough material currently available to bring the PT up to par with the OT. But you've closed the gap between the two admirably, and for that you are to be commended.
Specific comments on each episode to follow.
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Ep. I - Attack of the Federation
I felt like this was the strongest of your three edits. It flowed the most smoothly and had the fewest seams. You really managed to turn my least-favorite PT film into my favorite PT film - no small feat, I assure you.
-I'm still not entirely sold on the title, but it's an awful lot better than "The Phantom Menace." Probably just a personal preference thing.
-The following cuts were brilliant. No Planet Core: I can't believe how much this improves the mood of the film! Blank-faced Sidious: When I first heard about this change, I was quite skeptical as to whether or not it would work. Having seen it, I conclude that it most certainly does. Great job! The altered voice also works well, preserving the sound of Sidious' voice while making it less recognizeable as Palpatine's. R2's edited introducion: This is about 1000% better than it was originally. I no longer cringe at this scene. No more midichlorians, prophecy, or virgin birth: I can't tell you how badly I wanted a copy of the PT that ommitted these embarassing details and did so seamlessly. Thanks! New Podrace: Again, I was initially skeptical, but it came off well. Much more believable. You really eliminated the 'Sesame Street' vibe from this sequence. New Deleted Scene introducing Anakin: Although I don't like having Greedo identified by name in the PT, this nevertheless functions as a much better "bringing the group together" scene than did the original. Nice work. Deleted Scene with Qui-Gon & Maul's probe: Introduces an ominous feeling to their trek back to the ship. Will they make it? I think this works very well. Anakin & Obi-Wan's first meeting: "YOU'RE a Jedi TOO?!?! Pleased to meet you!!" Thank you so much for deleting this line. I'll never miss it.
-Suggestions: not too many for this edit; like I said, I think it's your strongest. The crawl is good, though remember to consider starting it sooner. 19:59-20:03 Here's where Gunray attests that it's impossible to track their prey, and Sidious says "Not for the Sith," but you've deleted that line. I don't miss the line, but the dead silence while we're waiting for Maul seems a bit...out of place. If you're cutting the line, could you cut a second or two of the "waiting" out please? 1:24:17 When Anakin first takes off in his fighter, he says to R-2 "Try and override it." Since you've eliminated the autopilot factor (which I agree needed to be eliminated), the line doesn't make much sense. Consider cutting it?
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Ep. II - Twilight of the Republic
A good edit, though a little weaker, IMO, than your first one. Some of the cuts are a little bit more jarring (though still very good overall). I really like the new name; much better than AOTC.
-Things I really appreciated. Fett's voice modulator: nice touch. Haven't seen this done before. (Of course, if you could get a redub by someone who sounded like Jason, that'd be even better....) ;) Removed the dart subplot: I love it! You removed a lot of extraneous and embarassing material here. Great job! New & improved asteroid chase sequence: Feels more like Star Wars than the original did. New interpretation of Shmi's death: This was an awesome feature of this edit, maybe the best thing you did to the whole movie. It works on so many levels and is a vast improvement over Anakin's hack/whine-fest. New factory sequence: My wife thought you were too gung-ho with the scissors here, but I thought it was perfect. Much less like watching George Lucas play a video game, which is precisely how the original felt. Cut the droids out of Geonosis entirely: I didn't know if it could be done well, but once again, you've shown me that it can. Thanks; those antics were really annoying originally. Padme confronts Dooku: Works very well where you've put it. Newly edited pre-arena "I love You" sequence: Much better. This takes the cringe-factor down considerably. Dooku the Jedi: This reinterprets the whole political landscape of the Clone Wars, and I love it! When done with your edits, I feel like I was rooting for the wrong side; Dooku and the Separatists were standing firm against the Dark Lord, and had they won, the whole Empire-tragedy could've been avoided. Very intriguing reinterpretation. New saber fight, sans-Yoda: Works much better. I can't tell you how good it is to not see Yoda leaping about like a munchkin on LSD.
-Suggestions: 15:44: The dialogue between Anakin & Obi-Wan just before entering the nightclub is a little rough. Though I like what you've done with the overall removal of "my master" and "young padawan" throughout the film, I feel like the dialogue edit here is a little jarring. Consider restoring the original, or reworking it to be smoother. 20:45: "Don't worry, we have R-2 with us!" "Ha. ha. ha" Aaaaaarrrgh!! I wish you'd consider cutting this line; it's terribly cringe-inducing. 31:07:"Well, if it works." *pause* "You're making fun of me!" Might I suggest taking a page out of ADM's playbook and cutting the scene after "if it works"? I know it takes away from the flirtatiousness of the sequence, but it gives Anakin a badly-needed "edge" that shows his oligarchic predisposition. Makes his future seem even more clouded. As with all of these, just a suggestion. The extended fight between Obi-Wan and Jango: I'm not really sure why you cut this...I kinda like the sequence. I assume you have a good reason, though. 1:04:52: This is the dialogue between Anakin and Obi-Wan just as they're all being chained to the columns in preparation for execution. Though your cut works, I kinda like the original banter better (save for the ensuing "what about Padme?" "She seems to be on top of things" pun). Consider restoring it, up to the "good job."? 1:07:49-1:08:06: This is the dialogue between Mace and Dooku when Dooku first steps up to the plate. In my copy, there are some very noticeable syncing issues...the voices just don't sync up to the mouth movements. Not sure if it's there in the master copy or not, but check it out. Light saber duel, suggestion 1: I like the new cut & pace of the duel a lot! However, there's a bit of a continuity issue. Up until Obi-Wan tosses his saber to Anakin, Anakin and Dooku are standing over him. Then, as soon as Anakin catches the saber and engages Dooku, it appears that they're in a different part of the room (ie, Obi-Wan's body is nowhere to be seen). Not sure how to fix this, other than perhaps matting Obi-Wan's body into the subsequent shot, but I thought I'd bring your attention to it either way. Light sabe duel, suggestion 2: This one's very minor, but in the "face shots" of Anakin and Dooku where the light is cast by their saber's, there are one or two split second shots where you can still see the red from Dooku's original saber. This is most noticeable when the sabers clash. Check it out. Opening crawl: ChainSawAsh already pointed out the "lead to conflict" typo. Should be "led to conflict." Let me suggest, however, a rewriting of the line: "This SEPARATIST UNION, under the leadership of the former Jedi Knight Count Dooku, has incited conflict with the remaining Republic systems." Or something to that effect. Moreover, consider changing "to defend against the potential Separatist threat" to "to counter the rising Separatist threat." I think it reads better.
One final suggestion that I feel strongly about: consider re-working some of Poggle-the-Lesser's lines? You've made a great improvement (especially where his lines modify things substantially), but I feel that they could be polished a little more. Just a couple suggestions
Beginning of the execution: "Silence! Let there be silence!" "These murderers shall now pay for our comrades deaths!" I see what you're doing here, and it's a great idea: make the execution less a matter of Dooku being vengeful (since he's still a jedi), and make it a matter of capital punishment for the killing of Geonosians. I just feel like the second sentence is a bit much to cram into one sentence. Consider this: replace the first sentence (Silence! Let there be silence!) with "These foreigners have spilled Geonosian blood." Then, replace the second (These murders shall now pay...) with "Execute the murderers!" I feel that something like that would flow better.
1:13:07: Poggle says, "Yet we must not surrender to the Republic." Consider a slight change: "And yet we must not surrender to the Republic." Just for the sake of flow.
1:14:52: Here, Poggle chains several comments together. " "Lord Dooku, you and the other Separatists must flee at once!" "My soldiers will try to give you enough time to escape." "You must take these battlestation schematics with you as well." "The Dark Lord must not possess such a terrible weapon!" "Good luck, old friend!" Brilliant job with this sequence, but let me just suggest a couple slight tweaks: "Lord Dooku, you and the other Separatists must flee at once!" "My soldiers will try to buy you wnough time to escape." "Take these battlestation schematics with you." (I think the "as well" just doesn't fit here very naturally). "The Dark Lord must not possess such a terrible weapon!" "May the Force be with you." Make sense? I think it would read & flow a little better that way. Let me know what you think. :)
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Ep. III - The Black Knight Rises
Overall, very good edit, though I feel that a couple of the cuts (particularly toward the end) do damage to the flow of the film. Like the new title, BTW.
-Pros: Re-edited space-fight & Grievous' ship sequence: This works a lot better than the original. Good job. Dooku's saber: Again, saweet. Various dialogue trimimg: Needed to be done. Removal of the "Jedi not being allowed to love": Thank you so much...this was such a stupid plotpoint that really needed removal. Re-edited duels all around: Muchly needed, particularly Anakin's turn following the Mace/Sidious duel. No more "lost the will to live" motif: An obvious trim, but definitely necessary. Newly edited "birth of Vader" sequence: A good deal less cheesy than the original; it's always been painful to hear Vader's first words from behind the mask come delivered so pathetically. Removed the cokney youngling's line: Very wise move. Reincorporated beginning of the rebellion scenes: Nicely done, now that you've trimmed out that annoying bearded guy's lines.
-Suggestions: Opening crawl suggestions: 1.) More than the first two, there seems to be a conspicuous pause between the logo and the crawl. 2.) As ChainSawAsh pointed out, "past" should be "passed." Let me further suggest a rewrite, from "Five years have passed since the start of the CLONE WARS, as the Galactic Republic continues its struggle against the Separatist Union" to this: "Five years have passed since the CLONE WARS began. The Galactic Republic continues its struggle against the Separatist Union." 3.) Consider changing "rebel Count Dooku" to "rebel Jedi Count Dooku." 4.) "Has swept through the Republic capital" should be "have swept through the Republic capital" or, alternatively, "...Count Dooku has swept through the republic capital CORUSCANT with his droid army and captured Chancellor..." 5.) Consider changing "...and ANAKIN SKYWALKER must now lead a desperate mission..." to "...and ANAKIN SKYWALKER have been dispatched to lead a desperate mission..." The removal of the Yoda-Sidious duel: I see why you did this: the Yoda-Sidious duel is truly idiodic. However, it's absense is very conspicuous, particularly given Obi-Wan's line "Send me to kill the emperor; I will not kill Anakin." This line implies that the Emperor will be confronted (ostensibly by Yoda), but the confrontation never comes. I'm left wondering: "Was there such a show-down? Did Yoda just ignore the threat posed by the Emperor? Is he just a coward? Why didn't Obi-Wan proceed to face Sidious after taking Anakin down a peg? What's going on?" Would you at least consider reincorporating a heavily-trimmed version of the Sidious-Yoda duel? I don't like it, but I think including it does less damage than ommitting it. "Lord Sidious offered us peace": With the removal of the "Sidious controls the Separatist Union" plotpoint, I'm not sure this line makes sense. Consider removing it? The removal of the "Obi-Wan and Yoda fighting their way into the temple" scene: I rather like this brief scene. I'm sure there's a reason you cut it, but I'm not sure what it is.
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Ok, I think that's all I've got (for now.) If I think of anything else, I'll post again. (Sorry for the massive wall-o'-text.)
In conclusion, your edits are very masterful and enjoyable; I thank you for them immensely. I hope you won't interpret my suggestions as attacks on your edits: I really do think you've come very close to perfection insofar as PT edits are concerned (short of actually doing a full-blown color correction, that is), and I feel that with just a little more tweaking, they could excell even further. Do remember that my suggestions are just those: suggestions. Consider them, but reject them if you wish. Again, thanks for your edits; I'm looking forward to the DVD versions. :)
Every 27th customer will get a ball-peen hammer, free!
I don't believe they have been uploaded to Demonoid as yet, Octorox.
Wow. That was a GREAT review, Akwat Kbrana. I faneditor usually only dreams of getting analysis that constructive and that in-depth. For a person who has poured their heart and soul into making an edit, feedback like that is a true gift.
Seconded on what Infodroid sez.
I wasn't the slightest bit interested in picking up yet another fan edit of the PT, but after reading these reviews, I think I'll reconsider.
I agree with the reviews whole heartedly myself, BEST PT edits out there!!! the only distractions I had were the audio jumps from some cuts, great work JasonN!!!
_________________
In the Works - TMNT:Return to New York -
Thanks to everyone who took the time to post your thoughts and comments on the edits
For the DVD versions, I will be doing some revisions and tweaks to the edits to try and improve them further based on the critiques that I've recieved, including the films' titles crawls - I'm not terribly sure exactly why they ended up being as slow as they were (especially since they were all created of the same base file and all used the exact same settings, yet some turned out slower than others), but I'll be working on them over the weekend for better pacing and spelling corrections.
Now onto individual comments:
ChainsawAsh
ATTACK OF THE FEDERATION
- The shot rearrangement at the end of the film between Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme was intentional; it was based off the same version that The Phantom Editor used in the PE, which I liked due to the foreshadowing that the rearrangement implied
TWILIGHT OF THE REPUBLIC
- Not exactly sure why the Fox opening is off (it shouldn't be), but I'll look into it
- I'll probably be replacing that Zam changling shot, so then she changes only when she dies
- As far as the Anakin/Padme Kiss scene, yes the scene transition is kinda abrupt, but there's nothing I can really do about it (not without going back to the original where Padme pulls away, which I don't want to do)
- Ok, I took a look at that Dooku/Mace scene that you were talking about and yes, the audio is out of sync; I assumed this happen when I replaced the Dooku shot (since I had to composite the Jedi out of the background), but I'll fix this for the DVD version
Akwat Kbrana
TWILIGHT OF THE REPUBLIC
- For the Picnic and Anakin's "If it works", I think it works better with the flirtiness and not ending it after Anakin's line; at this point of the PT, I do not feel that Anakin should be portrayed as having a dark or evil side (that's really the job of EP3)
- I never really cared for the Jango/Obi-Wan fight and agreed with how the PE cut it in his edit, so I used his version as a base
- That "Obi-Wan continuity issue" in the Dooku duel was part of the original version; I don't have any shots of Obi-Wan's backside to composite him into the scene, but it never bothered me that much that he was missing (I'm too busy watching Anakin and Dooku fight)
THE BLACK KNIGHT RISES
- Sorry, but I will never, ever add the "Yoda/Sidious" fight back into my fanedit
Also, just out of curiousity, what did everyone think of the revised "Order 66" and "Obi-Wan VS Anakin" sequences in Black Knight Rises? (these two were my favorites of the edits I made to EP3)
Uh... JasonN the DUEL was badass, I think you sped it up considerably too from the Shadows edit or am I mistaken??? It really feels as cools as teh Maul fight now to me and your Ep 3 just flowed really well, I think your editing there was closest to OT style editing.
_________________
In the Works - TMNT:Return to New York -
sketchrob said:Uh... JasonN the DUEL was badass, I think you sped it up considerably too from the Shadows edit or am I mistaken??? It really feels as cools as teh Maul fight now to me and your Ep 3 just flowed really well, I think your editing there was closest to OT style editing.
The EP3 duel wasn't that much different from the one that was in my Shadows of the Old Republic edit, apart from a few tweaks for pacing and some improved audio cuts/transitions - the major of the changes were to the beginning of the sequence (where Padme and then Obi-Wan confront Anakin).
Ahh I see, well it all flowed very well to me, form beginning to end :)
_________________
In the Works - TMNT:Return to New York -
Ok, I corrected the title crawl by syncing it with Adywan's Revisted crawl - it's not 100% exactly like his crawl, but it's pretty darn close and should be much closer to the soundtrack cues than the previous versions.
Will start on the rewrites and spelling corrections for the EP2 and EP3 crawls (only change to the EP1 crawl was that I rewrote "the greedy Trade Federation" line to "the corrupt Trade Federation" instead).
is there anyone who can upload these edits to demonoid I would be forever grateful :D I'll seed for a long long time as well!
My Youtube Accounts OfficialPeterFisher http://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialPeterFisher and JediMasterFisher http://www.youtube.com/user/JediMasterFisher
Loved the twilight edit Jason.Torrents for the other two would be hugely appreciated!
<span style=“font-size:14pt;line-height:100%”></span>
http://www.bigbaddaddyvader.com
Original Star Wars Props and Production Material
bigbaddaddyvader said:Loved the twilight edit Jason.Torrents for the other two would be hugely appreciated!
I believe guitarfan01 was going to be uploading the edits to Demonoid.
Jason,
I ended up really enjoying twilight so I got a short-term rapidshare account to get the others.Watching Black Knight now and it is great too.Will get back with more detailed thoughts after watching all three but enjoyable stuff thus far!
<span style=“font-size:14pt;line-height:100%”></span>
http://www.bigbaddaddyvader.com
Original Star Wars Props and Production Material
i hate stupid rapidshare! getting the first movie is such a pain.
My Youtube Accounts OfficialPeterFisher http://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialPeterFisher and JediMasterFisher http://www.youtube.com/user/JediMasterFisher
I love wonderful rapidshare and tend not to complain when someone offers to share his edits with me for free, no matter what method is used. ;) I'm not in a hurry and it's a great way to store these edits. It used to be WAY slower, too! I used to have to wait up to 300 minutes between downloads! Now it's 15, and the speed is consistent. We're laughing.
you have a point there. I do really enjoy being able to get the edits with it but the waiting times are just annoying. the download speed is very good though. Without the dang waiting times it would be PERFECT!
My Youtube Accounts OfficialPeterFisher http://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialPeterFisher and JediMasterFisher http://www.youtube.com/user/JediMasterFisher
And you have a point there! ;) The way I do it, I wait for a day where I'm home all day and sort of "babysit" the downloads. I start one, then when it's done downloading, I set the timer on the oven or microwave for 15 minutes. When it beeps, I know I can download again. Of course, I get nothing overnight, but overall, it's a good method. I've gotten DVD-9s in less than 3 days that way! :)