Asteroid-Man said:
RoccondilRinon said:
Two major comments. I like the style you're going for, but there are two things I have to say.

1. The font you use in your logo. Arial? Kill it. Anywhere you can use Arial, Helvetica does a better job. If you don't have it, I do.

2. The wording of the opening slides needs work; it reads quite clumsily. If you like, I can give them a slight rewrite to show you what I mean.

The font is not Arial. It's Star Jedi. Unless you mean for "A-Man Productions". That's Zekton. I'm keeping those fonts, I like them and think they fit the new tone I'm aiming for.

The word "PRODUCTIONS" is in Arial, or something that resembles it and is equally ugly. The other fonts are fine.

My take on the opening crawl:

Turmoil had engulfed the Galactic Senate. Several thousand solar systems, led by the mysterious Count Dooku, had declared their intentions to leave the Old Republic.

The Jedi Knights, guardians of peace and justice in the Galaxy, were becoming overwhelmed. The Senate proposed creating a Grand Army of the Republic to assist them. Senator Amidala was returning to the Senate to vote on this critical issue....

The most important changes are the spelling "led", not "lead", and the "who were meant to", which doesn't fit the epic feel of the piece. The rest is more my own personal take, but I hope it's useful.