vaderios said:
Well id prefer the planet to be bit bigger and less centered. Death worked because it wasnt clear so you had to focus on it.

In my view, the Death Star only "worked" because seeing it at the end of EP3 was such a mindbendingly "HUH??!" moment that your brain had to mentally shut down in order to comprehend the logic behind it being there:

"So let me get this straight, Mr. Lucas... it takes the Empire 17-18 years in order to complete the first Death Star... yet it only takes them 2-3 years to rebuild it after Luke Skywalker destroys it... yeah George, that's complete bullsh*t."

Bingowings said:
Though it might be difficult to do justice to the idea I still think shipyards building Star Destroyers would be better (excuse as always the crudity of these mockups):

Personally, I think the planet Coruscant works a lot better visually than using SDs construction sites - the DS "worked" in the original scene (at least, from a visual composition standpoint) because it was the center of attention (literally, since it was in the center of the scene) and it's shape was smoother and more organic than the sharp/mechanical shapes of the Star Destroyer's interior (if the space background featured SDs being built in space like the examples pics you posted, everything in the scene starts to become too similar in shape and is visually cluttered)