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Post #348376

Author
discostewart
Parent topic
Superman by Taolar (Formally: Son of Jorel) WORKPRINT AVAILABLE
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/348376/action/topic#348376
Date created
12-Mar-2009, 7:48 AM

- you dont explain how lex luthor finds the north palace. Not sure how u can include it without the prison break tho.

Yeah, this is probably the biggest plot hole that I've created (even though it corrects even bigger plot holes).  I've tried using dialog over their snowmobile trip to explain how he knows where to find the fortress, but none of it works. 

But considering how Lex already seems to come up with knowledge out of thin air (like how does he know Kryptonite will hurt Superman?  How does he know that meteorite that had fallen was Kryptonite?  How does he know Superman can hear the higher frequencies, etc...), this really isn't that big of a plot hole.  At least that's how I justify it to myself.  :)

But if you have an idea of a solution, I'm up for hearing it (as long as it doesn't involve putting the prison scenes back in.)

Stewart says: Its tricky but i personally would put a very short version of the prison escape in. I know i know ! But wwait ! ;) I think ive worked out how to do it with minimal cheesy bits.  You have fixed so many plot holes that to leave one large one in wouldnt justify what great work u have done. A very shortened version of the prsion scene would make sense because

- a) it would provide how he finds supermans home.

  b) it wouldnt flow well if luthor escaped after the missile without justice.

  c) we dont find out what happens to Otis.

 d) at no point , other than the prison scene, does anyone mention superman flying"north"

Here is my suggestion:

SCENE ONE
- reinsert: newspaper shot of luthor jailed (not a necessary scene,  if u r using that footage elsewhere, but good for continuity).

- cut to black box scene. start at "it was a good plan mr luthor..." taking out a lot of the comedy can be achieved through quick editing, and infact could be quite dark. for example cutting just after " i will track superman with alpha waves..." its quite menacing. 

                then go to different scenes of movie. Then return:

SCENE TWO
- add the "the lights out" hologram scene (i always liked this scene as it shows luthor as an inventor which backs up the black box scene), after the guard waves his hand in front of the hologram...
- cut straight to miss tessmarker saying "come up" and let that scene play out. By doing that we establish the hot air balloon (means of escape) and that luthor is in it and that otis gets left behind. Its a bit bafoon like with Otis falling off ladder but a suitable end to his character and NOW a very short scene ;) 

Please consider it , as i really thought it would just fix that one thing that sticks out with your flwaless edit.

* - why do u edit the krypton female arm wrestling the guy in the cafe? it doesnt explain why he gets thrown thru the window. also by editing the scenes there we dont really see zod getting increasingly impatient with weak humans,  he just jumps to get "bored" with humans. It seems to jump too quickly to the army arriving.

I edited them out for a few reasons: 1) the acting in that scene is horrible.  The hicks really ham it up, and it just doesn't fit in with the rest of the edit, 2) the way it was shot wasn't very cinematic, 3) they threaten to attack Ursa  first, thus giving Zod justification for the throw, making the viewer sympathetic to them, when it's not necessary.  This scene takes place soon after the moon scene, where they killed everyone for no reason.  So them out of nowhere, throwing this guy through the wall isn't out of character.

I agree that my solution is a bit sudden and so not perfect. But I haven't come with a better one.  Please give the original scene a watch and let me know if you have any suggestions on how to fix it: http://www.heathenofeden.com/zoddinersceneorigDIVX.avi

 STEWART SAYS: Actually on rewatching it does work, he just thinks their arm wrestle is pathetic. One thing i noticed is the sound cut is a bit abrupt on the window throw scene though ;) Thats probably what made it stick out first time round. Also i would take just a short segment of the town street scene and put it before the arm wrestle scene as its just a usual editing tactic to have an establishing shot (ie ok, now we are in a small town). So, you could:

SCENE SUGGESTION
- take the outside scene of people walking (from before the window smashes in your cut), place that first

- cut to zod walking into cafe and looking at arm cafe wrestle

- cut to window being smashed

side note: I did think about reinserting the "cop car scene", most of the schtick can be taken out of it with clever editing (the chessy lines and hand blowing could be removed). This would:

- make it more obvious that the army would be called if they had taken on the police and the scene plots zod's increaing irritation with people thinking they are strong (policemen, arm wrestler) when they are weak to him.

- establish zods lack of respect for authority.

- make the guy being thrown through the window "the final straw", as the moment it seems like quite a large reaction > guy through window = tanks 

* - the gap between superman losinghis powers and wishing to regain them now seems too short, perhaps of rediting could suggest a longer passage of time?

Acctually, you'll be surprised to know that in the original Superman 2 there are 8 minutes 47 seconds between the scene where he loses his power and the scene where he's hiking back to the fortress to regain everything.  In my version the time between is 11 minutes and 27 seconds.

 STEWART SAYS: True, yet as you repairing the scripting issues from the original, is there is any other non-time dependent scene (ie a scene that can easily be moved forward, that isnt linear to the story), to "suggest" more time has passed. 

 

-  at 1:09(cd2) i would go straight from "good morning metropolis" to "just minutes ago" as the guy isnt a great actor and this makes it seem to flow better in my view.

I'll give it another watch.

STEWART SAYS: the original newscaster line is overdubbed as we see Kent in his room, before we cut to the tv screen so it should be easy to do, and it wouldmake the scene better i feel. Once again I love your new ending and cant wait to see how u could repair the travesty that is SUPERMAN RETURNS

FINAL IDEAS:

I know if u do my ideas, ive lengthened the film, but mostly in areas where the flow is already good, and only with very shoert scenes. i hope im helping and not being annoying, i did do editing at media college but a looooooong time ago. :)

- the bit where superman tries to hug his dad i dont think translates well, ilike the intention but it just looks odd. Could u cut after "my son" somwehere?

- if u wanted to lose a scene from part 1 the whole Luthor swimming scene could be removed (sound editing permitting), as it doesnt further any plot really. So u go straight from the ice palace "my son"scene to "look ma no wires".

- One other thing, in the ice palace, i would consider reinserting the other crystal being tried first, as it just gets rid of that niggle of him choosing the right one first, plus it gives an indication that he learns other stuff while there "son of jorel " etc.n Just seemed a harsh edit for me.

I hope some of this is useful, i loving the edit and desperately wanna own the dvd ;) when you releasing the final file ?