Why I hate Indiana Jones.
Chapter 1
Shia La Bug Fudge as Indiana Jones' son. No thank you. The Last Crusade was enough of a family film even for an Indiana Jones movie, I don't need another one. And why a son? Can we have a hero movie where a big name hero has a daughter for once?
Chapter 2
Same old story all over again. Evil foreign army wants the ultimate power from an ancient artifact, they get it thanks to Indy, they unleash the power, get overwhelmed by it and get disintegrated and their remains fly up in the air. How original.
Chapter 3
Monkeys hate communists. Why? Oh, and thank you for showing that clip where we see the Monkey that Cate Blanchett threw off a cliff and than having it grab onto a branch. I would have hated the movie if the villain did something that evil like killing a monkey.
Chapter 4
The Aliens are a bunch of a**holes. I don't mind aliens. Honest. But the fact that when they leave they destroy any remnants that they ever existed is pretty selfish since it involved wiping out an entire society!
Chapter 5
"Somewhere, you grandpa's laughing." Ya, and grandma is wondering if she ever had any impact on your life Indy. Thanks for leaving her out of the picture.
Chapter 6
Mutt being developed to be the next Indy. Totally not cashing in on Shia's surge in popularity. No way.
Chapter 7
Lucas and Spielberg thinking they're the only ones who should still make/write Indy movies. I'd love to see it if that wasn't the case.